Finding a name for the grandparents can be nearly as difficult as finding a baby name. Does your mother really want to be called Grandma? And what if your mother-in-law puts in first dibs on Nanna? And what do you want your baby to call you?

Progressive parents might encourage the use of regular Christian names but, for the majority of parents, having your child refer to you as derivations of mother (or father) is more typical. Different cultural influences can all have an impact on what the actual name might be and discussing all the options and settling upon your favourite can be an important topic to raise before your baby is born.

Start with you and your partner. Discuss whether you hope to be plain old Mum and Dad or some other variation. Let those closest to you know your wishes so that the names can become an accepted part of the lives of everyone involved with your baby.

Now ask the grandparents, aunts and uncles. Perhaps they have a preference for a special name, or else have a few suggestions ready if they are not sure what they would like your baby to call them. Share the names being discussed with your immediate family to make sure no feathers are ruffled by the choices of others.

Granparents-to-be, today, may shun the traditional names for fear that it makes them sound old. If this is a problem, make sure it is discussed openly with all involved. You may not like their choice of name becoming part of your baby’s life, and the issue may need to be debated before a compromise is reached. Don’t dismiss an idea straight away – hear the reasons and then be sure to offer your views. Don’t feel you must accept what is offered if it really doesn’t feel comfortable with your own attitudes to your growing family.

With pregnancy hormones adding to your emotional state, try to avoid a fight. Remember, although you should have a say in what your child will call someone close to him or her, it may not be worth a family feud if the person involved just doesn’t agree. Putting aside the issue for a few months once it has been raised may be all that’s needed. Revisiting the debate with a more rational state of mind, yet still in time for baby’s arrival, could make all the difference to family relations.

This article was written by Claire Halliday for Kidspot NZ.