Promotion for NZ On Air

To mark the release of the second series of Kids Don’t Come With a Manual, we asked several of our Kidspot families to review the parenting TV series. Read their reviews now and see what tikanga/values whānau shared with us.

To help you with your journey as a parent, Nathan Mikaere-Wallis is back for a second series of Kids Don’t Come With A Manual with science-based, easy-to-understand solutions to help whānau navigate tricky situations they’re facing with their tamariki.

Made with the support of NZ On Air

Family review – Amy

Kids Don’t Come With A Manual is a series filmed in New Zealand that has Nathan Wallis connect with Whānau and explore parenting challenges they may be facing. It appealed to me due to the preface that it combines the latest Neuroscientific research with a Tikanga Māori approach. I have also attended a talk held by Nathan Wallis and found what he had to say very interesting and applicable to my life as a parent of young children and a teacher specialising in supporting students with additional needs.

I particularly enjoyed the episode where India’s whānau were sharing that their daughter had been identified as having some neurodivergent behaviours by her teacher. It was informative for me as a teacher to have a ‘behind the scenes’ look at how those concerns can be received by parents and the emotions attached. Getting everybody together, kanohi ki te kanohi was invaluable at getting everybody on the same page.

As a keen learner of te Reo, I enjoyed the episodes as there was Reo integrated throughout in context, which made it easy to understand and absorb; building my vocabulary in the process.

Finally, as a parent of a four-year-old and three-month-old, it was great to add more strategies to my kete as I am sure we will need them along our journey! Deepening my understanding about children’s relationships with different parents and the modelling of how to unpack a problem and have everyone’s perspective and opinion valued was great and I look forward to trying some of these strategies.

Family review – Aimee

Aaron & Raka: Season 2, Episode 3

I found this episode very interesting as the girl in this episode is the same age as my daughter Summer (5). Like in the episode Summer also had struggles starting primary school. Summer also went into an established class and her peers had friendship groups just like India in the episode. So it was interesting to see similar concerns raised by India’s Dads. Summer also has the need for structure and routine and I could see this with India in the episode. I loved Nathan’s approach of saying that the brain loves predictability such as having those set routines for bedtime. I also liked how if your child gets up out of bed to consistently take them back into their room in a nurturing way. I am also growing with my daughter just like the Dads in the episode. I’m keen to continue to have these routines for my daughter to support her growth and development.

Tash: Season 2, Episode 5

I really loved this episode and thought that Tash the Mum has similar characteristics to me. You could see her aroha for her boys and she was really open to finding out their individual needs. I liked how Nathan talked about the Social emotional regulation and wellbeing for Jesse in the episode. I could see myself supporting my daughter like Jesse and this is by having her at the right kura. I’m keen to see if I can support my daughter Summer (5) with some of these ideas about Intelligence and learning. I liked how Nathan mentioned about the intelligence you feel and the child having the perception of themselves as a learner. I loved how accepting Tash was of her boys and their learning.

Family review – Michelle

Season 2, Episode 5

I watched episode 5 about mum TASH and her kids, her seeking help with her potentially neuro-diverse sons. I was interested because I don’t know much about neurodiversity and was keen to learn more. I enjoyed this episode because it clarified that often kids just get put into a bubble and aren’t heard enough. Nathan said that her oldest son probably feels that he’s not good enough when completing tasks, even though he’s done a few perfectly well. I also enjoyed hearing about how kids under the age of three do not overly require daycare and are better off at home, I did this with my own daughter and it has reassured me.

Season 1, Episode 3

I really enjoyed this episode. I found it very related to my own life. I found it very interesting watching what Mitch had to say about his concerns and fears with not sending his son to daycare and was he missing out because of this. I am currently struggling with that same decision for my own child, my son is aged 14 months. My daughter stayed home with me for three years because starting preschool and her social skills are amazing. I enjoyed the concept of scaffolding instead of helicopter parenting. And I liked how Nathan said a lot of the time it’s just about reassuring parents that they are doing the correct thing even when it feels like you aren’t.

Overall I have enjoyed this series and would probably continue watching more episodes. I feel like parents can use and need all the support given when it comes to parenting and raising kids as it’s hard work. Thank you for reading my review.

Family review – Marketa

I recently had the opportunity to watch a few episodes of Kids Don’t Come With a Manual on MĀORI+, and it was an eye-opening experience. As a parent of two young children—“Peter” (name changed), a 7-year-old with ADHD, and “Paul”(name changed), my 8-month-old—I found this series incredibly insightful, offering both expert advice and practical strategies that I could relate to and apply in my own parenting journey.

The premise of Kids Don’t Come With a Manual is simple but powerful: it acknowledges that every child is unique, and there’s no universal guide to raising them. This resonates deeply with me, especially as Peter has ADHD, which presents its own set of challenges in our day-to-day life. I appreciate that the show takes a holistic approach to parenting, blending personal stories with expert advice on navigating various parenting hurdles.

Parenting challenges 

I watched a mix of episodes, but I specifically focused on episodes that addressed topics I’m currently facing with my kids. One episode that stood out to me was about managing children’s behavior and emotions, especially for kids with attention challenges. This was particularly relevant for Peter, who struggles with focus, impulse control, and emotional regulation due to his ADHD. I also watched an episode about parenting a baby, which I found incredibly helpful as I’m learning to navigate the early stages of raising Paul, especially around sleep and establishing routines.

What I like about the show

As a parent, I appreciate how the show offers practical, actionable advice rather than just theory. In particular, the episode on managing emotional behavior gave me some great ideas on how to approach situations when Peter is feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, which happens frequently. The expert in that episode suggested creating calm-down spaces and using visual schedules to help children like Peter feel more in control, which is something I’m definitely planning to try. The show also does a great job of addressing both the challenges and the joys of parenting. I found it reassuring to hear from other parents who are going through similar struggles, and the advice provided felt grounded and realistic, rather than idealistic or unattainable.

Tips and ideas I’m keen to try

One of the most helpful takeaways from the show for me was the idea of building routines around Peter’s needs. The expert emphasized the importance of creating predictable structures, especially for children with ADHD. This is something I’ve been working on, but I got some great new ideas from the episode, such as incorporating sensory breaks into Peter’s day and setting clear, consistent expectations. I’m excited to see how these ideas can help reduce his frustration and increase his focus. As for Paul, the episode on baby routines and sleep strategies gave me some useful tips on creating a consistent bedtime routine. Paul is at that age where he’s starting to establish his sleep patterns, and I’ve been struggling with getting him to sleep through the night. I’m looking forward to trying some of the techniques suggested, like gentle sleep training and using soothing sounds to help Paul settle down.

Conclusion

Kids Don’t Come With a Manual is an invaluable resource for any parent, but especially for those of us who are navigating the complexities of raising children with different needs and stages of development. From managing ADHD to learning how to parent a baby, the show provides realistic, expert-backed advice that I’m eager to implement in my own life. I particularly appreciate that the show feels empathetic and understanding of the unique struggles that each family faces, offering solutions that are practical and grounded in real-life experiences. I would highly recommend this series to other parents who are looking for actionable tips and a supportive, non-judgmental environment to learn and grow as caregivers. I’m looking forward to watching more episodes and continuing to integrate the advice into our daily routine.

Whānau share their tikanga (values)

Kids Don’t Come with a Manual has a focus on integrating tikanga – Māori customs, values, and traditions – into family life. So we asked our Kidspot readers to share their family values. Below are some of the responses.

• Treat everyone with the kindness and respect you want yourself to feel when you interact with others. (Z Batool)
• Live by the principle of whakapapa and respect – saying please and thank you is just the beginning! (E Elvi)
• Nothing in life is free. You have to work hard to get what you want in life, you can’t skip the ‘work hard’ part. (G Roberts)
• Always tell the truth. (T Green)
• Communication is the key. Let’s talk about everything and anything with understanding and no judgement. (E McCarthy)
• Appreciate what others do for you and always say thank you. (L O’Rourke)
• Be kind, Be brave, Be honest, Be true, Be you. (K Rowlatt)
• With a blended family, communication is very important. Everyone can speak up, be heard and be understood. (J Mondia)
• Always speak your truth and stand up for what’s right even if you stand alone. (G Murphy)
• Be kind with your words and actions. Be charitable with your words and actions. Be true to yourself and treat others with respect. (D Snell)
• Do not judge others without walking in their shoes first (and take off your shoes at the front door). (A Waterson)
• Do what’s right when no one is looking. Lead with love. Remember who you are in all decisions you make. (T Parata)
• Strong work ethic – be it chores around the home, school, hobbies and sports, where praise is given for growth and effort. Quality family time – set aside time as a family for dinner, games, walks, playground, etc. Clear but fair boundaries – set rules and boundaries with consistent consequences. (E Gee)

Watch now

Watch all episodes of seasons one and two of Kids Don’t Come with a Manual on the Māori+ app or at maoriplus.co.nz.

Made with support from NZ On Air.

Glossary

Click the links for a full definition of each te reo word and pronunciation.

• Tikanga – values & practices
• Whānau – family

See more:

• When you discover … “Kids Don’t Come With a Manual”
• NZ TV: Meet Kiri and Lou