The balance between home and work life as a parent is a forever quest. Often work and keeping the family going takes overhand and filling our own cup tends to fall to the bottom of the list.
As a coach who works with stressed and overworked professionals, I often see self-care fall to the bottom of the to-do pile. There are only so many hours in the day and when we spend 30-40 hours a week at work, finding enough time for all the other things in our busy family lives can be a challenge at the best of times. Something just always seems to give.
Imagine you could have a life where you have time for it all. A life where you get out of bed in the morning feeling content and excited for what’s ahead. A life with a satisfying career and work life, more than enough quality time with the family and enough energy to fill our personal and relationship cups.
It is possible. In fact, it is possible for anyone. And how do I know this? Because I have tried, tested, failed and eventually succeeded, and now I help my clients and you do the same.
One thing I am not going to do is sugarcoat the process. It’s a lot of fun but you will also run into a few challenges along the way. Whatever you do, do not jump off the train mid-journey.
Here are a few key concepts you need to consider.
First of all patience and perseverance. The best things in life to learn often come by trial and error and cultivating corresponding practices over time. You might find 10 ways that don’t work just to discover one way that really does. What distinguishes the people that succeed from the people that fail to achieve their goals is the ones that just keep trying again and again until they succeed.
I liken it to parenting. We might have a crappy day where we lose our cool. But that doesn’t stop us from getting up again the next day and trying again. If you apply the same kind of attitude to figuring out a work and life balance that works for you and your family you are guaranteed to hit your goal.
Secondly, there is no one size fits all. What works for somebody you know may not work for you and vice versa. It’s great to draw inspiration from others. Just make sure that you tune in with yourself and what really resonates and sits with you. When it comes to crafting our lives, there are virtually no rules besides the ones you make or decide to adhere to.
Thirdly, a work-life balance is an art form, not a science. Although science can give us an understanding and insight into something, how we then implement this knowledge in life is an art form, a creation. In the process of balancing your life in a way that works better for you, allow yourself to connect to your creative genius.
And four, allow for flexibility and growth. Just like our living cells in our human body, our spirit and mind are ever evolving and growing. What worked for us 10 years ago may not work for us so well now. Allow yourself to become aware of when those shifts and that growth happen and take it into consideration as you go.
5 steps to success
Here are the 5 steps to finding a better work-life balance.
Taking stock
Take a snapshot of where you are right now and figure out what’s working for you and what isn’t. Before we go about creating change in our life it’s really important to figure out what you are working with. Imagine trying to paint a painting without knowing what canvas you have.
Take a piece of paper and draw a line in the middle. On one side write what you are loving about life right now and on the other write down what you are struggling with. This exercise will quickly put things into perspective for you. Allow yourself to delve deep into this, there is no right or wrong just write down whatever is coming up for you. This exercise is the basis for the next steps coming up so don’t rush it!
What do you truly desire?
Just recently I was reminded again to come back to what it is that I truly desire in my life. It’s really easy to get focused on what we want to do, create or own – all the materialistic things of this world. But when we start to focus on how we want to be instead we activate a feeling inside of us. A vibe.
Think about how you want life to feel and what kind of experiences you want to have. Just making a list on a piece of paper or in your journal will suffice. Keep this list in mind as you go through your day and remember that you can add to this at any time. It is a living thing and sometimes the answers don’t come straight away. Reading through your list each morning over a cup of coffee or as part of your morning routine is a great way to set yourself up for the day and hold those intentions close to you. Over the coming weeks, you will find yourself noticing what things in your life align with your list and what things don’t.
Declutter what doesn’t serve you anymore
Decluttering is something we often do in our homes or physical spaces. And it is such a powerful tool to apply in all areas of our life.
What is it, considering your work-life balance, that you can let go of right now and/or in the future? A behaviour, a task, a commitment, a thought or a belief that’s limiting you. Is there something you want to stop doing or do less of? Or are there some new boundaries you need to put in place and communicate, some things you need to say no to? When we stop doing or do less of the things that don’t actually bring us joy or a benefit anymore we make space for new things that do.
Make time for fun, laughter and filling your cup
Life can feel very serious as an adult but it doesn’t have to be. Make a conscious effort to spend more time doing fun things whether this is on your own or with family and friends, in your personal or professional life. And when I say fun things, I mean things that make your soul feel alive!
A good starting point is to think about things that have filled your cup and made you feel good in the past and that you maybe have stopped doing for yourself. Life is here to be enjoyed! Joy in our every day actually helps us be more resilient to daily stresses because our whole attitude and perception shifts and problems become things to solve not things that break us. It’s important to put you and your happiness first because you can’t keep pouring from an empty cup and no one benefits from your burnout. Least of all you and your family.
Plan your moves, get an accountability buddy and start doing!
Setting intentions and thinking or writing about what we want to change is an important part of the process. But sh** don’t happen if you don’t start doing and get somebody to hold you accountable for your next moves. Creating a time plan that allows for work and play, aligned with what is important to you, is a crucial step in turning thoughts and intentions into reality. Essentially you are now implementing what you have learnt about yourself into your everyday life. Consider your daily personal routines and desires, family and work commitments and block out your time. Share this with your other half or a friend to hold you accountable for what you set out and come back to this regularly to check in how things are going.
Just remember, it’s not about getting it perfect. Your plan will be a work in progress and will adjust over time as you put things into practice. Stay aware and be kind to yourself throughout this process. You are changing habits and ways of being you may have been doing for most of your life and in some cases, this can take time.
It blows my mind every time I see a client take on this process wholeheartedly. The profound change and discoveries that happen throughout this process are such a privilege to watch and I often get to learn so much about myself too.
If you are finding this process a bit daunting, that’s okay. Find a buddy to do this with you or reach out to me for a complimentary session to see how I can support you on your journey from survival to thriving.
With love and gratitude always.
Article written by Sophie K for Kidspot
About Sophie K
Sophie is a coach and creator of The Thrive Guide, a mother of two, a joy seeker and a lover of adventure. She helps her fellow humans to find more time, confidence and ultimately joy in their everyday lives through empowering them at their core.
She knows what it feels like to be stressed and overwhelmed; almost constantly. Feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything. Between her professional and personal life in the past there just wasn’t enough time or energy left for joy. The result? Life often seemed hard and complicated. Her mental and physical health suffered. The people she loved the most ended up getting the worst of her. Including herself.
It took a major life event for her to realize that she needed more. She wanted to feel at ease, be the best version of herself for her kids, make time for what was important to her and follow what brought her joy and happiness deep down. Life is just too short to spend it feeling unfulfilled.
She loves to laugh and see the funny side of life and has a deep interest in people, their stories and what makes them tick. She has been running her business since 2020 and is excited to help make this world a better place for all our generations to come.
Visit her website www.sophiek.co.nz for more or get in touch via hello@sophiek.co.nz to book a complimentary chat.
16 May, 2026
