A well dressed man can be a bit of a rarity these days which is a shame as being well dressed can be a positive influence in your life. I’m going to let you into a few secrets of why the man in your life may not always or has never dressed well.
Having styled and worked with men over the years these are the four main reasons I hear from them as to why they lack style and don’t spend a lot of time or money on their appearance.
He’s afraid to dress well
For many men so powerful is the fear of being ostracised especially by other men for taking an interest in clothing and appearance, that he simply doesn’t bother and avoids it altogether.
Permeating our culture are messages that the man who spends time on his appearance is somehow emasculated; his sexuality is in question and he might even be interested in arts and culture, rather than rugby and drinking. Not a real man!
These stereotypes are wrong because it’s not like that at all, in fact it’s extremely manly to dress well and oozes self confidence. I have never had so much attention from women since I dressed well and if that isn’t masculine then I don’t know what is!
Men need to understand that dressing well is just grooming and that grooming is an essential part of a happy healthy masculine life. Do you think an unkept, ungroomed animal is happy or healthy? No!
Male and female animals of other species both groom exactly the same. The males are equally as groomed as the females. Grooming isn’t male or female, it’s just part of everyday life.
Men don’t need to dress up like a dandy to adhere to these principles, they simply need to have some intention about what they’re wearing, how it fits and how it looks. It’s not that hard.
My suggestion for change is to talk to him about it, ask him if he thinks that way? Explain to him that you think a well dressed man is manly, masculine, confident and very attractive (if that’s what you think!) He probably just needs some reassurance from you which can go a long way and set him on the right path.
As far as derogatory comments from other men about his appearance are concerned, you’ll usually find they’ll come from ones that dress really badly! Other well dressed men will usually compliment him not make fun of him. If the negative comments are coming from his friends, then maybe he needs some new ones!
He’s feeling down about himself
We all have our ups and downs in life and that’s pretty normal. When someone is feeling down about themselves they tend to let themselves go. Dressing poorly, letting your physique go and paying no attention to personal grooming are common signs. If your man’s like this then dressing better is one way to get him out of the doldrums, make him feel better and boost his mood. The problem is getting him motivated enough to make a change.
My suggestion for change is simply to discuss this concept with him and see if he agrees. If he’s up for it then make a plan of change.
Start with a wardrobe audit, followed by some clothes shopping. Additionally adopting a new grooming routine, scheduling regular haircuts and possibly a new exercise program will be a great way to approach it from many angles. Self care should hopefully kick in and he should feel a lot better immediately.
He has never been taught to dress well
Did his parents teach him? Do his parents dress well? Did he grow up somewhere where dressing well wasn’t the norm? If his parents (especially his father) didn’t dress well then it makes sense that he may not also. It’s not always the case but it is very common.
Dressing well isn’t taught in schools and boys generally don’t read fashion and style magazines when growing up so they tend not to know a lot about clothing and style. Most simply missed these valuable lessons.
He needs style education! There are some amazing free resources available for men now on the internet, so here are some places to start:
Youtube – try Alpha M, Gents Lounge, Real Men Real Style, The Modest Man, Tanner Guzy and He Spoke Style. Send him video links and/or watch videos together. I would suggest you critique these channels before recommending any of them as their styles are all a little different.
Websites – manofmany.com, fashionbeans.com, dmarge.com
Pinterest – create boards of men’s styles that you think look good and show him. If he knows what you like, then he might start moving in that direction.
He doesn’t think it’s important to dress well and doesn’t see the value
If you’ve never really dressed well you’ll have never experienced the benefits. You’ll also have little idea about what a difference it will make to every part of your life.
Dressing well is so important. He might be unaware that we’re all judged by our appearance. I know you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover but in our fast paced society a book’s cover can be just as important as it’s content. So if he wants to get a leg up in life and be more successful then he needs to start paying attention to his appearance.
The main benefits include getting treated with more respect, giving a better first impression, people listening to you more, boosting your own confidence, increasing your perceived status and people thinking you’re smart and more enjoyable to be around. It’s a no brainer really!
My suggestion for change is to give him a challenge – suggest he dresses well for one calendar month so he can experience the benefits.
You’ll probably need to help him plan his work and social outfits for 30 days so it doesn’t fall to pieces after a couple of days.
At the end of the month discuss his observations and experiences of what he noticed. I guarantee he’ll see the benefits. Once he is convinced hopefully you’ll have a man who wants to learn more about how to dress well and he’ll be hooked.