Judgement. Social media is full of it. It also permeates into our off-screen lives, particularly out of earshot. We are all guilty of judgement to some degree, but most of us also understand that respect for others should be first and foremost in our minds. The way that other people wish to live their lives, as long as they are not causing harm to others, is surely their own business and does not warrant hurtful comments from anyone else.
Do you want to end up like her?
A New Zealand mother of two recently shared her experience of judgement on a local community page, whilst visiting a Pak n Save store.
“You: beautifully dressed, immaculate makeup, high heels; three school aged daughters with perfect hair; shiny new car; parked in new parents only car park while unloading a very full cart of groceries.
Me: stained clothes because I cleaned for four hours, no makeup, a bit sweaty because damn it’s hot; doing a quick shop before I go take a shower so I’m fresh for my volunteer job; beaten up car; happy face because I’ve had a pretty awesome day until now.
Just wanted to say thank you. I heard you say in a very pointedly loud voice, while looking me straight in the eye, to your eldest daughter “look at her, do you want to end up like HER? That’s where you’re heading if you don’t get your grades up.”. I’m so sorry I was in a rush, we should meet up and have a little chat.”
(The post has been reprinted here with permission).
Where’s the respect?
How will the next generation learn tolerance, understanding and acceptance when the people they learn the most from are so vocal in their judgement of others?
Dozens of local people responded voicing their shock at such an awful lack of respect. One person acknowledged this woman’s restraint in not shaming the woman in front of her children, hoping that the woman’s children will learn that “no matter how you appear in a materialistic sense, and what you possess; that being a kind, decent human being is valued much more.” Other comments supported the view that, if this woman’s daughter was to grow up to be like her, she will be doing just fine.
By all means, encourage your children to aim for the stars and help them find their place in the universe. But if they happen to fall back to earth, ensure that you have taught them that everyone has a place in this world and deserves respect for who they are, not what they look like or the size of their bank balance.
Judgement and understanding
Kidspot spoke with the mother who suffered this judgement. She is a mum to two kids. One of her children has just finished three years of chemotherapy for leukemia. She is the sole driver and therefore struggles to find work around her child’s treatment requirements. Her message to the other mother was this: “I want this woman to come forward and have a genuine conversation. She needs to be educated, I’m willing and able to guide her through the complex struggle of working families. She obviously hasn’t had that experience and I’m glad for her, it is so nice I’m sure. I just want to sit down with her over an affordable coffee and just … I don’t know, help her to have some form of understanding?”
This blog was written by Julie Scanlon, Editor for Kidspot NZ.