1000 Letters for Suicide Prevention

Media release from Key to Life Charitable Trust, 10 September 2019

New study into end of life letters

On World Suicide Prevention Day 2019, Mike King and the mental health charity The Key to Life Charitable Trust launched a new study into the final letters or messages left by victims of suicide.

The study, the first of its kind in New Zealand, will look to find practical answers as to why so many New Zealanders are taking their lives, with the aim of using the research to inform future interventions and suicide prevention efforts. For this research to be meaningful it is hoped to collect 1000 letters or messages.

“Over the course of my work in mental health, many families have shared with me the taonga of reading the final words of their loved ones,” says King, “and though every note is tragic and unique, I’ve noticed there are a handful of common themes. “Families often want to contribute to efforts to help stop the scourge of suicide, as a way to honour their loved ones. We want to honour that wish, and create more understanding about suicide in Aotearoa.”

The study will carefully analyse the content of final messages of both suicide victims and volunteers who have survived suicide, in an effort to distil any national trends and triggers.

“It’s a hugely contentious topic and we’re aware that we’ll need to handle the information in the letters sensitively – and of course anonymously – but we believe that there’s real potential to help others struggling in similar situations,” says Kyle MacDonald, psychotherapist and Chair of the Board of the Key to Life Charitable Trust. “We have long known that there is an absence of research of this kind in New Zealand. With the help of families who have lost someone to suicide, we aim to change that.”

Survivors of suicide are also invited to share the thoughts they were having during this particularly challenging time.

#1000 Letters

Families are being asked to share the final words from their loved ones by uploading a scan to 1000letters.co.nz,

Or alternatively emailing to 1000letters@keytolife.org.nz,

Or posting a photocopy of notes to:
1000 Letters
PO Box 91082
Auckland 1142

To find out more visit IAMHOPE.ORG

Have you lost a loved one to suicide? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Do I Really Need Life Insurance?

You’ve got a young family, maybe a new home, or a flourishing career – you have your whole life ahead of you. Probably the last thing on your mind is not being around to enjoy any of it.

You can’t control everything in your life, but you can make provision for your loved ones to have some financial stability if something were to happen to you by taking out a Life Insurance policy.

But what is Life Insurance and how does it work? And when do you really need it? The team at Cigna New Zealand answered our questions to provide some guidance.

What is Life Insurance?

Life Insurance can be a financial safety net that is intended to provide for those who depend on you if you were to pass away. It’s one form of security that could ensure your loved ones don’t get caught short, if you were no longer there to support them.

Upon your death, a tax free, lump sum is paid out to your estate. This money may be used by your family towards the cost of the funeral, to help settle a mortgage, or to generally support your whanau in the years to come.

No one wants to be struggling with finances while they are grieving. The payout from a Life Insurance policy can help your family to maintain their standard of living after you’re gone.

Why is it important and who needs it?

Did you know that the average age of a new parent is 31, but the average age someone takes out a Life Insurance policy is 40? That’s a worrying trend that is potentially leaving some young families vulnerable if the unthinkable were to happen.

Unexpectedly losing a loved one can be a traumatic time for a family. Emotionally there’s a lot to process; not to mention there’s the funeral to plan and pay for, mortgage payments to be made, bills to be paid, and ongoing household expenses. Life Insurance provides peace of mind now and for the future.

It’s not only important for the main income earner to be covered by a Life Insurance policy. The loss of a parent could mean that the partner left behind is unable to work as they need to look after young children. If there are people in your life who depend on your income, or your presence, Life Insurance could provide stability for them – whether that’s your kids, a significant other, aging parents or the wider whanau.

It’s usually a big life change that prompts us to consider Life Insurance, such as buying a house, having your first child, starting a business or getting married. After all, if you were no longer around, how would your dependents look after the mortgage, schooling, business loans or other debt?

How does it work and how much does it cost?

The first step tends to be determining how much cover you may need, ie the amount that will be paid out. Ask yourself how much money your family is likely to need if you were no longer there to support them. Establishing this first could prevent you from selecting too much or too little cover. As cover is so personal, the recommended level of cover will vary between people. Check out how much cover you may need with Cigna’s Life Insurance Calculator.

Things to consider when determining your cover:

  • Funeral costs
  • Mortgage or housing payments
  • Other debt
  • Income replacement
  • Day-to-day household expenses
  • Childcare

It’s important to compare Life Insurance options thoroughly, to find the right insurance provider for you. The insurer may ask for information on your medical history and your premium will be calculated.

The cost of a Life Insurance policy is different for everyone as it’s influenced by your selected cover, personal health history and other policy additions you may opt for.

Once the policy has been finalised, you’ll pay the agreed premium to your insurer on an ongoing basis, usually monthly. Your life will be covered from the date your policy starts. This means that you will have peace of mind that your family is covered from the moment your cover is confirmed. Paying your premiums at the agreed time is critical to ensure you’re always covered.

When the policyholder (the person that is insured) passes away, or is diagnosed with a terminal illness, the insurer may pay out the agreed lump sum to the estate of the policyholder, dependant on the terms of the policy.

Can I trust my Life Insurance provider to give me good advice?

The Reserve Bank of New Zealand (RBNZ) and Financial Markets Authority (FMA) recently published a review on the conduct of New Zealand’s Life Insurance industry, highlighting that some providers aren’t actively providing the best service for their customers’ needs. Given the results of this report, it’s understandable that Kiwis are wary of insurance providers. It’s a commitment, after all.

This article was written by Kidspot NZ with information provided by Cigna New Zealand.

How to Foster Great Relationships With Grandparents

As parents, most of us are a little guilty of thinking that the influence we have on our children is all powerful. And of course it’s important – it needs to be. But children are generally born into existing families, with extended family and relatives. They too have their own unique and influential role on our children.

There has been lots of research into the particular importance of grandparents in children’s lives. Not just in terms of supporting parents with practical care, but the unique relationships which grandparents and children can have.

What’s so good about grandparents anyway?

  • They help to guarantee the continuation of a family’s lineage. From a survival perspective, this is how families have shared their genetic inheritances for more than 200,000 years.
  • When there is chaos and disruption in the family home, grandparents can provide stability and security.
  • Grandparents often have more time and energy than parents because of the parents’ work commitments.
  • Grandparents can be very nurturing and patient, especially when they are motivated to have a good relationship with their grandchildren.
  • They are often more financially stable and secure. This means they can have extra money to spend on entertainment and taking the kids out (but not always).
  • They often have more patience, as well as the benefits of experience and wisdom which are only earned through time.

What helps build the grandparent-grandchild connection?

  • Be motivated to support them having a good relationship. When, how and where your kids connect with their grandparent/s will depend on you. Transport, organisation and just the general mechanics of getting them together takes adults to work out.  So if you’re keen from the start, then everything else will follow.
  • Get your partner on side to support this as well. If drop offs and picks ups are shared, then you’re more likely to sustain for longer the energy required.
  • Be optimistic about the benefits. If you believe that both the kids and the grandparents will benefit then you’re more likely to be supportive.
  • Remember that individual personalities play a big role in how we connect with each other. You may find that one of your children just ‘clicks’ with a particular grandparent and there’s really no explanation as to why.
  • Give it time. Good relationships can take years to grow. Raising a family is a marathon, not a sprint, so try not to do too much too soon.

What to do

  • Encourage your child’s grandparents to be involved, right from your pregnancy. Tell them you’re keen for their input into your child’s life.
  • Where possible, take their advice on board. If they have successfully raised their own children they will have some idea of what’s involved, even if their ideas on parenting are different to your own.
  • Accept all reasonable offers of childminding and support. The more time spent together between children and grandparents, the more opportunity for love to grow.
  • Encourage traditions and routines which just happen at grandma/pa’s house.
  • If location is an issue, consider longer stays during school holidays and long weekends. You may need to be creative about making the most of opportunities.
  • Consider Skype, FaceTime and all forms of digital communication if physical proximity is an issue.
  • If your kids are school age, get them to coach their grandparents in technical ways to connect.
  • Encourage shared passions such as gardening, board games, sports, history, reading or music. One of the many great things about the next generation is that they often have different interests to parents.
  • If relevant, support your children’s grandparents to share their money saving tips. Again, the next generation has often learned the benefits of delayed gratification – a useful skill for any age group.

What not to do

  • Avoid comparisons with different family members, in particular the other ‘set’ of grandparents. Every person and family is unique. Comparing, while tempting, can be very hurtful.
  • Don’t play favourites. Where possible, arrange equal time with both sets of grandparents, otherwise resentment and jealousy can build.
  • Don’t expect grandparents to fund outings unless they offer to. Be mindful that income, time, health and motivation all play a part.
  • Don’t expect automatic offers of childminding from grandparents. They are entitled to make their own decisions about how they spend their time, so be aware of not asking too much, too often.
  • Don’t be controlling about how you want grandparents to care for, talk to or relate to the children. Of course you should have a say in matters of safety and general care but be prepared for some differences between care-giving styles. This helps kids to build resilience.
  • Try not to examine and discuss every little detail. As long as everyone is happy then just go with the flow. There may be some traditions in your partner’s family which you’ll never understand. Just put them down to every family being unique.
  • Don’t criticise grandparents when children are present.
  • Never encourage conflict, backstabbing and nastiness.
  • Try not to be unrealistic.  There’s no such thing as a perfect family and most have some sort of dysfunction. Some families are just better at hiding theirs than others.
  • Don’t assume that if your parents weren’t too interested in you as a child that they will feel the same about your children.  Different circumstances and times can have a very different impact on behaviour

Suggestions for grandparents to connect with grandchildren

  • Play games, read, go for walks. Aim to have fun and laughter.
  • Remember, you aren’t the parent; be considerate and know when to say nothing.
  • Listen to them when they talk.
  • Let them lead the way.
  • Invest time.
  • Ask about their friends.
  • Remember what you talked about last time.
  • Write letters/cards.
  • Be their Facebook friend, if they’ll let you.
  • Get them a pet (check with parents first).
  • Cook together.
  • Make photo books together and show them photos of you when you were younger.
  • Teach them skills like painting, restoring furniture – do projects together.
  • With younger children – go for walks, feed the ducks, go to the museum/art gallery
  • Have them for sleepovers.
  • Let your grandchildren take the lead.  Sometimes it’s enough just to ‘be there’.

This article was written for Kidspot.com.au by Jane Barry from www.mybabybaby.com.au – child health nurse, midwife and parenting columnist and has been adapted for Kidspot.co.nz.

Do you find that the relationship between your children and their grandparents is a good one?

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Mums in Business: Cakes, Cookies, and Kids!

Mum of two Jess Keen from Kumeu, West Auckland, is living the dream working from home creating amazing cakes, cupcakes and cookies through her business Hey Sugar.

For a lot of us, the idea of running our own business whilst being a mum to young children falls somewhere between “living the dream” and “complete chaos”! However, Jess from Hey Sugar has not only stepped into the entrepreneurial world, she’s also creating some pretty spectacular celebration cakes. She specialises in making cakes for children’s birthdays, baby showers, and various celebrations.

Jess tells her story

I’ve been making cakes for over six years now. It started off as a passion for baking cupcakes. I loved spending hours baking and decorating cupcakes for friends and family birthdays. Close friends soon started asking if I would sell them, so I did to make a little bit of money on the side but mostly because I loved creating little handmade toppers for cupcakes and decorating them to suit a theme.

I always got asked if I made cakes and the answer was always, no! I thought it would be too much stress and pressure to make cakes – what if they went wrong or what if they didn’t like them?! So I stayed in my cupcake lane for a while until my best friend got engaged and asked me to make their engagement cake!

The first cake of many

I was very nervous as I’d never decorated a proper cake in ganache and fondant before, let alone a two- tiered cake that had to make it down to Ngatea where the engagement party was. I spent hours and hours watching tutorials on YouTube to learn all the tricks and techniques and brought the tools that I needed to make the cake I had in mind – a white & yellow ruffle cake with bunting flags on top.

The day came to make the cake and I think I spent about six hours decorating it after work. When my husband came home and saw the state of the kitchen he was like – wow! I had done it and I had done it pretty damn well for my first cake. We took it to the engagement party and everyone loved it. I ended up getting asked to make another one in a few weeks’ time … so then I started making cakes!

Hey Sugar is born … and Lola too

Hey Sugar quickly grew, and I set up a Facebook page and website. I rented a commercial kitchen from a family friend in which I would go to after my full time job and I would make cakes in the evenings. I spent hours at home each night hand making fondant decorations for cakes. Then come Thursday and Friday nights I would be creating cakes in the kitchen for orders to be picked up for parties on the weekend.

I did this for a year and a half, then realised it wasn’t possible for me to continue working full time and ‘cake’ as the demand was too much. I decided to put Hey Sugar to rest for a wee while as I knew we would have a family soon.

I continued to make the odd cake for family or friends birthdays and in 2016 the arrival of our first daughter, Lola, came in November. We were living on the North Shore of Auckland in a small three bedroom house and soon realised that having a baby means you need a lot of stuff! So we made a plan to move and build our dream home in a new sub division in Kumeu. We sold our house and moved in with my parents for what we were told would be eight months until our house was built. Anyone who has built a house before knows that delays are inevitable (something we didn’t know!) and we ended up living with my parents for almost two and a half years!

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Baby number two

Our second daughter Zoe was born in August 2018 completing our family perfectly. We finally got to move into our house in May 2019 and we designed it so that I have a second kitchen with a separate oven, sink and fridge to get registered with the council to make cakes to sell to the public.

I was still working my full time job in Birkenhead commuting for a 7am start and it was taking its toll. I would be out the door before the girls got up so it was hard not seeing them before I went to work. We decided that I’d take the leap and quit my job to do Hey Sugar full time at the end of July.

Juggling act

Being a mum and running a business can be stressful and a total juggling act at times, but I’m lucky I have a wonderful husband that helps out a lot and the girls enjoy going to daycare close to home. Not having to spend hours in the car each day and getting to plan my days my way are great. But the best thing is being able to create things that I love everyday and seeing the looks on my client’s faces when they receive their goods. It’s the best!

Hey Sugar

For custom made treats for occasions worth celebrating, visit HeySugarNZ.com.

Give your celebration the WOW factor that is sure to impress with taste to match. Using the freshest ingredients, free range eggs and quality brands, Hey Sugar are sure you won’t be disappointed.

Follow Your Baby’s Development During Pregnancy

Follow your pregnancy week-by-week with our guide and learn about the changes you and your baby are experiencing.

Click on the week of your pregnancy below to learn more about your baby’s development and what’s new for mum too.

First trimester

Weeks 6 to 13

Second trimester

Weeks 14 to 27

Third trimester

Weeks 28 to 41

Just like adults, all babies are different and develop at varying rates in the womb. This information gives a general idea of your baby’s development and progress.

The Vital Nutrient Pregnant Women Can’t Overlook

Promotion for NZ Eggs.

A nutrient vital to the health of babies in the womb may be missing from the diets of many mothers.

Women who don’t follow healthy eating guidelines during pregnancy may risk missing out on a key nutrient vital to the life-long health of their unborn babies, a nutrition expert fears.

Healthy nutrition guidelines

Dr Clare Wall, the head of nutrition and dietetics at the University of Auckland, says a 2017 report – which she authored – revealed up to 97 per cent of New Zealand women are not eating according to the healthy nutrition and eating guidelines set by the Ministry of Health.

As a result she worries many may not be getting sufficient amounts of choline, a little known nutrient which is especially important for infants in their first 1000 days (the nine months of pregnancy and up to the age of two) for brain development and the prevention of birth defects.

Although only acknowledged as a required nutrient by the US Institute of Medicine as recently as 1998, international medical opinion suggests that such is its importance in fetal and infant brain development it is a nutrient that cannot afford to be overlooked.

“If pregnant women follow the guidelines they should be getting enough choline, but our research suggests many may be at risk of not doing so,” Wall says. The research, part of the Growing up in New Zealand study, also shows only one in five women met a specific recommendation to eat at least two daily serves of protein foods such as lean meat, fish and eggs.

Choline food sources

Wall says choline is present in other foods in the ministry’s guidelines but eggs are one of the richest and easiest of sources. The nutrient is also found in liver, peanuts, pasta, rise, spinach, beets and wheat.

“The first two years of life is critical for human development and growth,” she says. “Within that period there are critical windows of development, so optimal nutrition during this time is vital to set a child up for the rest of his or her life.”

Although only one of many required nutrients, choline plays an important role in various functions of the body including the liver and muscles and for helping store and process memories. It is an essential nutrient meaning most of it must come from food because the body produces only small amounts.

Research conducted in the US through Cornell University in 2017 also supports this view. Its findings suggest that when expectant mothers consume sufficient amounts of choline, their offspring gain enduring cognitive benefits.

The study’s author, Professor Marie Caudill, an expert on the impact of choline on maternal and infant health, says despite this most pregnant women consume less than the recommended 450mg per day.

“A prudent approach would be to increase dietary choline intake by consuming more animal source foods during pregnancy – egg yolks, lean meats, fish and poultry,” Caudill says. “For women who restrict animal-sourced foods, a choline supplement may be needed.”

Wall says while eggs have been maligned in the past, they are one of the best sources of choline and have been given a big tick for nutrition, protein and vitamins by the Ministry of Health, the Heart Foundation and the NZ Nutrition Foundation. The Heart Foundation says even those at risk of heart disease can eat 6 -7 eggs a week.

Two large eggs contain up to 400mg of choline which is well over half the recommended amount for pregnant women. Choline is contained in the egg yolk, the white being a good source of protein.

The importance of choline after birth

Wall says for the first six months of an infant’s life, breast milk is the best source of choline. However from that point on introducing eggs into the diet is fine.
“Previous recommendations were that eggs ought not to be introduced until a child turned one, but it is quite okay from six months, about the time most mothers start weaning their babies,” she says. “Probably they will start with something like a bit of scrambled egg on a spoon and then gradually increase the amount from there.

A 2016 study published in the Journal of the American College of Nutrition revealed that 90 per cent of Americans are not getting enough choline, a percentage experts believe is likely to be similar in New Zealand and Australia. The American study also found only 15 per cent of people have even heard of choline, let alone being aware of its importance.

The US Department of Health and Human Services recommends a daily intake of choline of 125mg for an infant from birth to six months and 150mg daily between the ages of one and three.

The department recommends adult women need 425mg per day, but 450mg during pregnancy and 550mg while breastfeeding. The recommendation for adult men per day is 550mg.

NZ Eggs

Visit eggs.org.nz for recipes, meal ideas and inspiration, how-to videos and subscribe to free monthly recipe e-newsletters. Eggs – super naturally good with 14 essential nutrients for everyday health and wellness.

This article was originally published by NZ Herald and is reproduced here with permission.

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7 Ways to Make Your Home More Eco-friendly

The key to creating an eco-friendly home is to tackle the problem from several different angles. Reducing the amount of energy that your home uses, reducing water usage and waste, as well as shopping smarter can all help you achieve a ‘greener’ home.

New eco-friendly products are being designed all the time, so if you’re keen to improve your home, keep an eye out for new ways you can reduce your carbon footprint. Here are some of the simplest ways to have a more eco-friendly home.

1. Make use of design

If you are lucky enough to be building a new home, or renovating your existing one, making use of clever design can create an eco-friendly home that will be more comfortable and healthier to boot. Enlist the help of an architect who is experienced in designing sustainable houses.

Positioning your home so you can make the most of the winter sun can help to warm your home naturally. You can also use planting, blinds/shades, or ventilaton to help control the heat over the summer months. Installing solar panels can make a huge difference to the amount of energy that your home uses though the initial outlay can be costly.

Where possible, use salvaged materials when building for a more sustainable approach.

2. Insulate

Reducing your energy consumption through the use of insulation and double glazing will be one of the biggest eco-friendly changes you can make. You can also use thermal curtains to keep the heat in (or out) more efficiently.

3. Heat efficiently

A blanket, thick socks and a sturdy disposition may be all you need to get through a harsh winter, but it’s a lot more practical and comfortable to use efficient heating. Modern log burners using wood from a renewable source can result in zero net carbon emissions. With a wetback to heat the water they are even more energy efficient. Heat pumps and pellet fires are also efficient methods of heating.

4. Save energy

Using LED lightbulbs and turning off lights when not in use is a simple step to reduce your energy usage (and save yourself some money). When purchasing new appliances, always look for the energy star rating. Don’t forget to turn off appliances and chargers that are not in use.

Once you’ve finished cooking the dinner, pop the baking in the already warm oven and save on having to pre-heat the oven. If you only need to cook a small amount of food, it’s more energy efficient to use a microwave or small toaster oven than to heat up a full size oven.

Washing your laundry in cold water and line-drying will also make a big difference. Also consider reducing the amount of washing that you do. Does that pair of jeans that you wore for one day really need washing?

5. Reduce water usage

Did you know that only around 1% of the earth’s water is drinkable? Water is Earth’s most important resource. Reducing your home’s water usage can be taken up by the whole family. Choose to shower instead of running a bath and keep showers short. A low-flow shower head and utilising the half-flush on the toilet cistern can also help to save water.

Having a water tank that collects rainwater from the spouting will provide you with water for your veggie patch. Fix leaking taps and running toilets and don’t leave taps running when brushing teeth or washing dishes. Use a bucket when washing the car instead of a hose and only run the dishwasher or washing machine when full.

6. Shop smarter

The single-use plastic shopping bag ban is in place so we should all be getting used to using reusable shopping bags. You can also buy reusable produce bags. Now supermarkets, butchers, bakers and other food establishments are starting to also allow customers to bring in their own containers to reduce the amount of plastic and waste that is created. Buying in bulk also helps to reduce packaging.

Also consider:

  • Ecostore makes it easy to choose eco-friendly body care and home cleaning products that are better for the environment and your health
  • Reusable straws are available in stainless steel or there are compostable options
  • Bamboo toothbrushes are compostable
  • Use a razor that can be refilled with new blades
  • Buy compostable dog poop bags, rubbish bags, etc
  • Stainless steel clothes pegs last longer than plastic ones
  • Instead of liquid soap, choose bars of soap
  • Meal plan and shop from a list to avoid overbuying
  • Buy eggs from farmers/locals and reuse egg cartons
  • It is possible to buy milk in reusable glass bottles in some parts of the country
  • Buy recycled toilet paper or even tree-free toilet paper
  • When shopping online look for retailers who offer eco-friendly packaging

7. Reduce waste

Think about the life span of what you buy and how you can reuse things when they are no longer suitable for purpose. Or better yet, consider if you already have something that could be repurposed to do the job? If you have no use for something, consider donating it to a community group.

Although it isn’t possible to recycle everything through your local council collection, there are lots of recycling schemes for items including mobile phones, electronics, coffee capsules, toothpaste tubes and more. Find out about some of these schemes at TerraCycle.

You can also:

  • Compost food scraps
  • Get bills by email/online
  • Use washable cloths instead of paper towels to clean up the kitchen
  • Use a reusable water bottle
  • Bento boxes are great for litterless school lunches
  • Use silicone baking mats instead of baking paper
  • Make your own sauces
  • Bake bread at home to save on plastic bags and tags
  • Grow your own veggies, fruit and herbs and join a local collective to share produce you don’t need
  • Bake your own cakes, biscuits, and sweet treats
  • Reduce your food waste
  • Use cloth nappies, menstrual cups, washable breast pads and panty liners

Helpful resources

These websites are full of helpful tips and information on being greener.

What can you do around your home to make it more eco-friendly?

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her world julieWritten by Julie Scanlon for ecostore

Julie is Editor for Kidspot NZ and our MVP. Her hobbies include laughing uncontrollably at her own jokes, annoying her family by asking questions about movie plots, and never taking anything too seriously. She speaks a little Spanish and a lot of Yorkshire. 

Favourite motto to live by: “It ain’t nothing but a thing”

Teaching Kids About the Environment

Our children are becoming more aware of our environment, as well as our impact upon it.

Nurturing an interest in our environment encourages children to seek out more information about environmental factors and to learn about how to protect our one and only home.

Learning about the environment

The best way for kids to learn about the world around them is to use all of their senses to experience and appreciate the natural environment. Sharing those experiences with family is a tried and true way to encourage kids to participate more. Turns out, it’s not that uncool to hang out with mum and dad after all!

Parents play a key role in nurturing their child’s interest in the environment. However, it is more advantageous for children to be empowered to reach their own conclusions about our impact on our environment through frequent contact with the natural world and development of knowledge through learning experiences and participation. This helps them to develop connections and a sense of personal and civic responsibility. (Source: Effective approaches to connect children with nature)

Beyond getting our kids to not litter, to recycle and compost, and to reduce their waste, our job as parents is to foster our children’s role in the environment as an active stakeholder – making their learning experiences relevant to their age, the area they live in, and their interests.

Creative, spontaneous and unregulated play in neighbourhood places and traditional play environments such as streets, wild places and gardens, enables children to discover, explore and develop a personal understanding of the environment around them.

Source: Effective approaches to connect children with nature

Ways to improve environmental awareness

Here are some fun activities that will help to connect your child to their environment:

  1. Bush walks: Explore your local surroundings using walking trails and talk about the flora and fauna that you see. Not sure what something is? Take a photo and check it out online at inaturlist.nz when you get home.
  2. Play at the park: Take a walk to a local park and simply enjoy the outdoors.
  3. Have a nature scavenger hunt in your backyard: Arm the kids with a camera each and a list of things they need to find and take a photo of. Include things like ‘a yellow flower’, or ‘a spider’ for young kids, or for older ones, ‘a native tree’, or ‘a sparrow’.
  4. Get them into gardening: Give them a patch of the garden that is all theirs and encourage them to grow the veggies or herbs that they like to eat. Check if their is a local community garden and if so, spend some time together tending to the plants and discussing what can be made with the vegetables.
  5. Plant a tree: Select a native tree and plant it together either at home or ask for permission to do so at school.
  6. Beach clean-up: There are local groups that organise regular beach clean-ups. Take the kids along to help out with the added bonus of some time at the beach afterwards.
  7. Water challenge: Give the kids a 24 hour period in which they must identify as many ways as possible that their water usage around the home can be reduced. They will likely think of things like not leaving the tap on while they brush their teeth (and they will probably try “I could not shower”!) but will they think of the water needed to wash the bath towel they dumped on the floor instead of hanging up to dry, or the water needed to wash the third cup that they’ve used that day?!
  8. Geocaching: Billed as the world’s largest treasure hunt, geocaching is a great way to explore your local environment. Find out more here.
  9. Painted rocks: Similar to geocaching, the craze of painted rocks is explained here.

How do you like to get the kids involved in environmental awareness?

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her world julieWritten by Julie Scanlon

Julie is Editor for Kidspot NZ and our MVP. Her hobbies include laughing uncontrollably at her own jokes, annoying her family by asking questions about movie plots, and never taking anything too seriously. She speaks a little Spanish and a lot of Yorkshire. 

Favourite motto to live by: “It ain’t nothing but a thing”

Creating an Eco-friendly Nursery

Choosing furniture, bedding, and decor for the nursery is a joyous part of preparing your home for your new arrival. Considering the environment when creating a beautiful nursery is the new trend for an eco-friendly start to your baby’s life.

Reports suggest that Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, used all-natural, vegan paint to decorate little Archie’s nursery. So, if it’s good enough for the Royals, then …

Sleeping soundly

The largest purchase for a nursery is usually the crib or cot. Choose one that is made from sustainable timber and has finishes that are lead and phthalate-free. For the amount of time that your child will use the crib, it really makes sense to choose one that can be converted to a toddler bed for a lengthier lifespan. If you opt for a second-hand cot, be sure that any finishes are non-toxic and that it meets modern safety standards.

Add an eco-friendly mattress to baby’s cot by choosing one that uses natural, organic materials and is free of harmful chemicals – safer for baby and for the environment. Your baby store should be able to advise you on suitable options.

For your baby’s blankets and bedding, choosing natural, organic fibres is a great choice, not only for the environment but also for your baby’s delicate skin. Bamboo is a fast-growing, renewable resource, which is beautifully soft when used in blankets and sleep sacks.

Choosing eco-friendly furniture

For the other furniture in your nursery, if you can afford it, solid wood is the best option. These are likely to last longer and can be passed on to other family members, or repurposed around your own home. Alternatively, repurpose a piece of furniture already in your home for the nursery. For example, an old armchair with a new cover could make a great nursing chair. Or a bookcase can be used for storage (ensure it is secured to the wall).

If your budget won’t allow for solid wood, some ready-to-assemble furniture has a “greener” side. Some brands are working towards only using timber from sustainable sources. Do your research and find out more about a brand’s environmental policies so you can make a more ethical choice.

Buying from New Zealand manufacturers cuts down on your carbon footprint with reduced shipping. Even better, friends and family are also a great source of items that you only need for a short time and they are probably glad to move them on out of their own homes!

Decorating the nursery

If you’re painting, choose a paint that is non-toxic and look for a ‘VOC-free’ label. VOCs (volatile organic compounds) are chemicals that let off gasses which can be harmful to people and the environment. If you’re unsure, ask your paint merchant for assistance in choosing a suitable paint.

For rugs and fabrics, choose those that use natural fibres and vegetable dyes, though undyed fabrics are classic and timeless. Opting for a neutral palette will give your items a longer lifespan and enable you to use them in other rooms later on.

For toys and decorations, buying local makes great sense. You can find a wealth of locally produced and unique items in community Facebook groups and on the online marketplace, Felt. Consider what products are made of and choose products that are made from sustainable materials or that will last for generations.

Nappies

One of the biggest rubbish-makers once you have a baby in the home is disposable nappies. There’s a wide range of easy-to-use cloth nappies available which will not only reduce your rubbish pile but also save you money. Even if you use a combination of cloth nappies with the odd disposable when you want some convenience you will still be making a huge difference to your environmental impact.

Clean and green

Once you have your eco-friendly nursery set up don’t forget to use cleaners that are also doing their bit for the environment, like those available from ecostore.co.nz.

How have you considerd the environment when decorating or furnishing your home?

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her world julieWritten by Julie Scanlon

Julie is Editor for Kidspot NZ and our MVP. Her hobbies include laughing uncontrollably at her own jokes, annoying her family by asking questions about movie plots, and never taking anything too seriously. She speaks a little Spanish and a lot of Yorkshire. 

Favourite motto to live by: “It ain’t nothing but a thing”

Normalising the Conversation About Periods

For something that affects basically half of the population every month, it is quite ridiculous that menstruation and periods still have a massive stigma attached.

Hidden at work, not discussed at home, hushed up at school, never seen in public – the 24/7 period cover up.

  • 3 in 4 women say there is a stigma attached to having a period
  • 9 in 10 women hide their period
  • Libra is working with Shameless to break down period taboos

We don’t talk about it

Melbourne, 19 August 2019: New research launched today from leading feminine care brand, Libra, reveals that periods are a topic hushed up and hidden at every level of society – on a scale that transcends any other topic, let alone something that affects 50% of the population.

Alarmingly, 3 in 4 New Zealand women say there is a stigma attached to having a period, with periods listed as more of a taboo than drugs, sex, STDs and mental health problems.

The survey went on to uncover how period taboos are having a concerning effect on behaviour. A staggering 9 in 10 women will go to great lengths to hide their periods, with women avoiding swimming (65%) and light-coloured clothes (70%) or hiding feminine care products in their pocket, sleeve or bra (68%).

For young girls, their shame of menstruation is so bad that almost 60% would rather fail a subject at class than have their peers know they are on their period. A further 17% would rather be bullied than have their peers know. A quarter of New Zealanders are even embarrassed to purchase female care products.

Keeping it hush

This lack of confidence about menstruation is driving women to do all they can to avoid conversations about their periods. In fact, the knock-on effect is continuing into our relationships; 72% of women would rather discuss the direction of their relationship with their partner than their period.

Dr Lauren Rosewarne, Senior Lecturer in the School of Social and Political Sciences at the University of Melbourne said: “While our society is becoming increasingly open and tolerant around topics such as transgenderism, homosexuality and mental illness, female menstruation is still something that’s seen as unacceptable for public discourse.

“Perhaps that’s because periods aren’t something we commonly see on TV, in movies or on Instagram – if young girls are brought up to hide their period, then they will continue to feel and believe it’s something shameful, embarrassing and needing to be hidden.”

Normalising the conversation

The good news is that women want to see change. Two thirds of women in New Zealand agree society’s attitude towards periods is old-fashioned, while men and women both agree that girls’ confidence is at risk if periods aren’t discussed openly.

Shameless hosts Zara McDonald and Michelle Andrews, who regularly address women’s issues on their popular podcast, have partnered with Libra to squash the shame around periods.

Zara McDonald said: “I was always so embarrassed about periods when I was younger – it’s taken me until now to realise that there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.”

Michelle Andrews agreed: “We only hope that young girls growing up don’t go through the same humiliation that we felt, having to feel guilty for their own bodies.”

Caitlin Patterson, Executive General Manager of the Asaleo Care Retail Business said: “Libra has played a leading role in helping to de-stigamtise menstruation for over forty years across ANZ. This new research shows just how far we have to go as less than 1 in 10 New Zealand women feel empowered when they have their period. Periods are such a normal and healthy part of life, but aren’t discussed in public discourse and they aren’t shown in pop culture. That’s why in our latest TV commercial, we’ve made a point of showing blood, not blue liquid.”

The research was conducted by Harvest Insights on 1000 men and women from Australia and New Zealand, commissioned by Asaleo Care.

The Libra Manifesto reads:

We bleed.

Every. Single. Month.

It’s natural. It’s normal. It’s healthy.

And it’s not blue dye. It’s red.

Sometimes it’s painful.

Annoying.

And just plain hard.

But not being scared to talk about it?

That’s Bloody Awesome.

#bloodnormal

Libra has been making women’s favourite feminine care products in Melbourne for over 40 years. Libra offers a broad range of pads, tampons and liners for everyone, supporting women to live their best life.

This article was written by Kidspot with information provided by Libra.

Do you find it difficult to talk to others about periods or to talk to your kids about it?

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10 Things to Consider When Choosing Subjects

At this time of year, high school students are deciding on their subjects for next year and it can be a minefield for parents helping them decide, particularly for Year 10 students about to enter the world of NCEA.

Tracey Beard from Career Matters works with students from age 16 (Year 11) through to age 25 in their exploration of career and tertiary study options.

10 things to consider when choosing subjects

Our interests in the world of work aren’t typically fully formed until we are around age 16. However, I do get a lot of queries about how to navigate the subject selection maze in Year 10, so I wanted to provide some general themes to think about. Each school’s subject list and each child is different, but here are some of the key things to consider:

  1. Breathe! It’s not the end of the world if they end up picking a subject they don’t enjoy. Year 11 is a time to keep the subject list broad, so they can try out new things and be open to possibilities.
  2. Year 12 and 13 are the years where their results matter, so don’t be freaking out about results in Year 11. Instead, focus on helping them build their study habits (organisational skills, priority setting, study-exercise balance, etc) and their personal confidence/mental wellbeing.
  3. Encourage them to reflect on what is INTERESTING to them in terms of subjects (not what they are necessarily good at, because they might not be actually interested in it), before picking subjects.
  4. Ensure they aren’t picking a subject just because their mates are doing it or the teacher is ‘chill’.
  5. If they find lots of classroom work confining, ensure they are doing some hands-on (or outdoors) courses that could keep them focused and balance the classroom courses.
  6. Now is the time to identify or answer any issues about their learning needs or challenges, so they are set up for Year 11 in terms of reader-writers, more time for assessments etc.
  7. Remember it’s not about you – you might love science and want your child to be a doctor, but is it worth getting them to do all three sciences in Year 11 if they aren’t showing any great love of it now? The “if s/he just does it, they will come to love it” is a risky strategy. Be realistic.
  8. From the Year 11 subjects they chose, track them out to Year 12 and 13 and see they have options to continue them if they love them, or pick up another subject if they don’t enjoy it. That way, they don’t get trapped down a dead-end path.
  9. Remember that they have lots of other needs going on at this teenager stage, so encourage/role-model the building of good character (supporting others’ achievements, personal responsibility, interests outside of academics, positive network of friends, etc)
  10. Get them to identify their goals for the year – what they want to look back on at the end of Year 11 and feel proud of (academic, sporting, cultural, personal). They don’t have to be awards, just personal growth targets/achievements that are important to THEM.

The right time to look at options

Ideally, I encourage Year 11 students to work with me in July or August. That way, they have a half-year of NCEA work behind them that they can reflect on, and they are motivated to pick the right subjects for Year 12. I’ve created a tip sheet to help parents support their child through NCEA. Click here to find out more.

Good luck!

This article was written by Tracey Beard of Career Matters.

Tracey Beard is a Career Expert. As the Founder and CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer) of Career Matters, she is changing the way that young adults across New Zealand explore their career and study options. Using powerful, contemporary career search tools and personalised career coaching, Tracey empowers young adults to know themselves better, which enables them to make better decisions about their future. And when these young adults are happy and living their purpose, we all benefit. Career Matters was recently awarded the 2019 Social Conscious Excellence award from Network New Zealand.

Career Matters

Follow Career Matters on Facebook @careermattersnz.

Has your child found it difficult to choose subjects?

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Elastoplast Wound Care Pack

product trial4.60 out of 5 – Kidspot mums would purchase the Elastoplast Wound Care Pack again and recommend it to their friends and family.

star rating 5

Whether it’s a small cut on the finger, or even a surgical wound with stitches, wounds are part of everyday life. Fortunately, fast wound healing doesn’t have to be complicated thanks to the Elastoplast Wound Care Routine!

Elastoplast recommends the following three easy steps to heal wounds faster:

  1. Cleanse the wound fast and pain-free with the Elastoplast Wound Spray for protection from infection.
  2. For protection from dirt and bacteria, cover your wound with an Elastoplast plaster or wound dressing.
  3. For faster healing and lower risk of scarring, apply Elastoplast Wound Healing Ointment regularly until the wound has visibly healed. If necessary, re-cover using an Elastoplast plaster or wound dressing.

Elastoplast Wound Spray

Protects effectively from wound infections; colourless and odourless – does not leave any stains on skin and clothes; fast and pain-free application; suitable for sensitive skin.

Elastoplast Fabric Plaster

Protects from dirt and bacteria; strong adhesion; flexible; breathable.

Elastoplast Wound Healing Ointment

Heal wounds up to 2x faster (in comparison to an untreated wound); reduces the risk of scarring; free of colourants, fragrances, preservatives; suitable for damaged, irritated, dry or sensitive skin (including babies and children).

Watch the video reviews belowvideo

We have given 200 members with kids the chance to be a video reviewer for the Elastoplast Wound Care Pack.

  • If you have received your trial pack, please check your inbox for instructions on how to upload your video review.
  • Please note that a video review is mandatory

Each selected reviewer will receive:

  • 1 x Elastoplast Wound Spray 50ml
  • 1 x Pack of Elastoplast Fabric Plaster 20
  • 1 x Elastoplast Wound Healing Ointment 20g

Please note

Watch the video reviews from our trialists

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Dangers of Health Apps for Kids

Weight Watchers have introduced a new app called KurboHealth aimed at kids and teens. Is it a helpful tool to tackle childhood obesity or a dangerous step toward an unhealthy relationship with food?

Recently WW (formerly known as Weight Watchers) re-launched an app called Kurbo that has been marketed for kids aged 8 – 17 years old. The app has had a year of further development since it was acquired by WW in 2018. Kurbo allows kids to enter their height, weight, age and their health goals. It lets them log what they are eating with a traffic light system – so green foods are fine to eat anytime (fruit and veg), amber foods are ones you should limit (dairy, protein, whole grains) and red foods you should avoid (those salty, sugary reward-centre fulfilling, junk foods). It has a snapchat-like feel and encourages regular activity via ‘streaks’. For most app savvy adults, we’ll be aware of these types of apps and may have even used them ourselves.

WW has been facing some backlash regarding their app, which is unsurprising. While they are trying to rebrand to a more health-focussed model, they still are pretty focussed on weight. WW is not the only group creating these health style apps for kids though. It only takes a quick trip to the Google Playstore to find multiple exercise and food apps aimed at kids.

Body shaming

Childhood obesity is a problem, we can’t deny that. But you have to ask yourself, do kids as young as eight years old, whether they are obese or not, need to be exposed to negativity around food? There’s a lot of concern that this app could drive kids towards a future of eating disorders and bad food relationships.

Of course, some could say that kids are exposed to plenty of body image language and visuals via social media, magazines and even their own parents’ hang-ups (guilty as charged). One app is not necessarily going to destroy a child. But an app in addition to everything else, especially if it’s coming from home could be very damaging. Fat-shaming seems to have become the last ‘acceptable’ bigotry, and kids are watching us adults online and at home.

Health scare

I had a little health scare at the start of the year. Nothing too serious, but it was enough to make me re-evaluate my relationship with food. To say I have had an unhealthy relationship with dieting would be accurate. As a kid I started to diet when I hit Intermediate School. I remember my ‘baby fat’ being mentioned to me. I exercised like mad in my room and cut my food intake back extensively. I felt the warmth of praise when I lost weight, and the shame and anguish when I couldn’t stop eating chips or biscuits.

Eventually I broke away from that thinking and decided to just be. Sad to say that this break away from dieting took me all too long and then I really did go in the total opposite direction not restricting myself in anyway. I wasn’t too worried about what I looked like. I fully embraced the idea that I shouldn’t have to shrink to fit, that I didn’t have to be pretty or acceptable-looking, to be here. And I was happy with that.

But then the health scare happened. My husband and I did a bit of research about food. So many of our friends are doing sugar-free, or carb-free, raw foods or Keto. The thing that didn’t sit right for us, was the removal of whole groups of food. Having kids in the house, also made us hyper-aware that they are watching everything we do.

Beginning a new journey

So, the journey began. After some weeks of wanting to eat in a more mindful way, but not really knowing what approach to take, we landed on using an app to help us count calories. This helped us as adults make better choices. We tried not to make the change a big deal at home, tried to not even discuss it in front of the kids. But of course it only took a month or so for both of my daughters to start asking.

I had a seven year old weighing herself and exclaiming “fat!” I had my frankly underweight 12 year old worrying that she was eating too much. Can you even imagine if they had access to a phone with a ‘health’ app on it? They are just too young to be making the same mindful decisions about food that we as adults can navigate. They don’t understand fuel in and fuel out. Even a word like carbs can confuse them – there are carbs in a lot of things including vegetables and kids need carbs!

Thankfully, we have been able to frame the conversation for them. We reassured them that they need lots of yummy food because they have growing bodies. We reminded them that their bodies are built to use the food they eat, to help them ride flying foxes, run cross countries and kick soccer balls. We focussed on the functional body rather than its form.

I’m mindful we’ll need to monitor the conversations about weight and worth very closely in future. A few weeks ago, my eldest said to me, “Wow, you are getting so skinny, Mum. That must feel really good”. I was taken aback, and said, “Oh, but darling that is not why I’m doing this. I don’t care about being skinny. I have always been beautiful.” She nodded enthusiastically, and I continued, “I care about being well and fit and hanging out with you guys for as long as possible”.

My relationship with food still continues to be an issue. I have to constantly tell myself food isn’t bad or good. Everything I ‘learnt’ at 10 years old about my value and my size is still messing with my head. And as for my girls, I think if they had been exposed to a food tracking app designed for them, we could easily be well on the way to restrictive dieting and a lifetime of seeing their value only in a dress size. Whether I like it or not, I’m living that, and I don’t want that for them, or any child. It’s a cycle I’m very keen to break.

kymmageWritten by Kym Moore

When she isn’t herding kids or cats, Kym loves to drink craft beer, or share a whine and a wine with friends. She is also partial to a well-made cocktail. Her happy places include sitting on couch watching British Comedy and daydreaming. Lots of daydreaming.

Favourite artist: Bowie

A Gentle Evening Bath & Bedtime Routine For Baby

It’s true that a sleeping baby is indeed a beautiful sight, but for many parents how much and for how long their baby sleeps can become a significant issue in the first weeks, months and even years.

How well your baby is sleeping somehow can be conflated with how well you are parenting. Trying to ‘control’ how much and for how long your baby sleeps can become a distracting focus of your time as a new parent and even the source of much anxiety and distress. There is plenty of information available on baby sleep – in fact there is a whole industry based on it! So, how do you make sense of all the information and unsolicited advice?

Expect the unexpected

About the only thing you can rely on in terms of sleep is that some amount of sleep deprivation is to be expected. As your precious baby is growing and changing, so will your baby’s sleep patterns. When you are immersed in the lack-of-sleep baby stage it is hard to imagine, but there will come a time when it’s past midday and you are still waiting for your dishevelled teen to emerge from the depths of their bedroom. In the meantime, accepting that your baby is unlikely to sleep for extended periods consistently will make your parenting journey a little more enjoyable.

While you can’t make a baby sleep all night, there are ways you can create an environment that is not only conducive to sleep, but it also an enjoyable part of your day together. Over time a regular routine will help your baby understand that after a bath, massage, cuddle and feed, it’s time to sleep.

The bath time routine

A relaxing end to the day for your little one with a warm, soothing bath is a wonderful way to help set your baby up for sleep. Make sure the room is warm and quiet. A baby’s skin is more vulnerable to its environment than an adult’s because its protective barrier is not yet fully developed, so only use products that are specifically formulated with this in mind.

Relaxing nourishing massage

After a bath, if your baby is relaxed and calm, you could try a massage. Massaging your baby helps you and your baby forge emotional bonds and continues the bedtime wind-down period. Choose a baby oil or moisturiser that’s sensitive to your little one’s skin.

Before putting baby’s bedtime nappy on, soothe and protect from nappy rash with a nappy balm to protect and soothe skin.

The final countdown

Hopefully by now your baby is all relaxed and sleepy but not overtired! Now it’s time for a cuddle, a song or story, and a final feed and then off to sleep in a dark, warm room. That’s the goal but for many babies, it’s not as simple as that!  Prepare to be flexible with the time you start your bedtime routine and also what time baby will actually go to sleep. Every baby is different so creating a routine will, over time, help establish strong sleep cues for your baby  – each day is one day closer to a good night’s sleep for you both.

Written by Kidspot NZ.

Smarter Comfort With Voice Control

Smart Voice Control makes it easier than ever to keep your home comfortable thanks to Panasonic’s Network-Enabled Air Conditioners.

Modern technology has given us tools to perform tasks that benefit our day-to-day living. Voice and digital control of our home is made easy with smart devices that can control lights, speakers, TVs, cameras, plugs, kitchen appliances, vacuums … even lawnmowers! And now your voice has the power to control your air conditioning too.

The power of your voice

Maximising your warming and cooling comfort is a breeze with Panasonic’s Network-Enabled Air Conditioners. Panasonic’s Smart Voice Control allows you to utilise smart assistants like Google Assistant and Amazon’s Alexa to easily control the comfort levels in your home.

Using voice control, you can:

  • Turn on/off air conditioners
  • Change mode
  • Adjust temperature
  • Check current air conditioner status
  • Start a routine that includes your air conditioning settings

The convenient hands-free control allows you to adjust the air conditioning in your home, even when your hands are full. This is great when your little one is needing your utmost attention at feeding time or when you simply cannot interrupt the cuddles! Or maybe you’ve walked in the door with bags of shopping and it’s a little chilly. Just give Alexa or Google a voice command and adjust the air conditioning instantly.

Using your smart device’s routine function, you can include air conditioning control as part of your morning or night-time routine.

Please note that a WiFi kit is required for the indoor unit – see here for details. WiFi network and compatible Smartphone also required.

If you already have a Panasonic Air Conditioner, the WiFi and voice control can be added to some models up to 5 years old.  Please contact us to find out more.

Even more control with the Comfort Cloud App

Download the Panasonic Comfort Cloud App from the App Store or Google Play and you’re totally in control – even when you’re away from home. Turn on the air conditioner on your way home and you’ll have ideal comfort the moment you walk in the door. It’s also great when you’ve jumped into bed and realised you need to adjust the temperature but you don’t want to venture out from under the covers!

To find out more about Smart Voice Control and the Comfort Cloud App, visit panasonicaircon.co.nz

If you already have a Panasonic Air Conditioner, the WiFi and voice control can be added to some models up to five years old. Please contact Panasonic here to find out more.

Promotion for Panasonic Smart Voice Control. This article was written by Kidspot NZ for Panasonic.

The Worst Thing To Say To A Sensitive Child

‘Don’t be so sensitive’ may be the worst thing you can say to a sensitive child, says parenting expert, Dr Justin Coulson.

If you have been a parent for more than a few minutes, you might have noticed something about children and sensitivity – most children are inherently sensitive. They feel secure when they receive our warmth and compassion. But their sensitivities are heightened when our responses are sharp, cold or harsh. Some people argue that we need to toughen our children up so they can survive in a dog-eat-dog world.

I disagree. I want my children to be sensitive. I want them to be able to identify their feelings, to know what they are and why they are having them. I want them to trust their feelings. They need to be sensitive in order to do these things. Those feelings let them know what’s OK and what’s not. In addition, I want them to be sensitive to others. I want them to be empathic, and to know how to respond to other people’s emotions. I want their sensitivity to be a blessing, rather than a burden.

The best way I can help my children to be sensitive is to honour their feelings, and turn towards them with empathy and kindness. When I do this, I believe I fulfil what L. R. Knost, author of Two Thousand Kisses a Day, hoped for when she said: “It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.”

Why are kids so sensitive?

Emotional development

Part of our children’s sensitivity is a response to their development. That is – it’s biological. Researchers point out that emotional regulation is a skill that we all struggle with, even as adults. But when our children are young, they find it particularly hard to not be sensitive. They feel something, it wells up inside them and they let it out. Emotions are big and hard to understand, let alone control.

Starting at age two, children are able to talk about their feelings and they begin to engage in strategies to control and regulate them. They start to use language to express feelings, but it is hard for them.

Usually around age seven or eight, children are beginning to effectively regulate their emotions. But it is not uncommon to see parents rousing on their kids for being so sensitive and emotional well before they are eight years old – particularly their sons.

Responding insensitively

In addition to biology, there is also an environmental influence to our children’s sensitivity. We have a habit of doing what Dr John Gottman describes as ‘turning away’, or ‘turning against’ our children.

In other words, we are insensitive!

When we respond with insensitivity to our children’s challenges, we show dismissal (you’ll get over it), or disapproval (you silly girl). Neither response is helpful but both are common. In fact, both responses make our children feel unworthy. They exacerbate our children’s sensitivity.

As our children get older and can regulate their emotions with some effectiveness, they may not respond to our statements with open sensitivity and tears. But this doesn’t mean they’re no longer sensitive. Instead, they hide it from us to avoid further recriminations, pushing it underground. But it will manifest in other ways in both the short term and long term. Relationships are ruptured and trust is eroded.

Responding with sensitivity

Instead of disapproving and dismissing our children’s sensitivities and turning against or away from them, Gottman recommends we turn towards our chlidren’s sensitivity. Accept it. When we have promoted the sensitivity by our own insensitivity, we should apologise for hurting our child’s feelings and promise to be more sensitive in the future. By showing empathy, we teach our children that they matter and that their feelings are a normal part of being human. We show that we care.

Our children’s sensitivity can feel like a rod for our backs. But when we tell them to stop being so sensitive, we diminish them and our relationship with them. When we show love, empathy and kindness, we raise children who know they matter and who can be a blessing to others.

This article was written for Kidspot by Justin Coulson, Ph. D. Justin is a relationships and parenting expert, author and father of five children. Find him on FacebookTwitter, and at happyfamilies.com.au.

What To Do About Cruel School Friends

Like adults, children can be mean to one another. Sometimes an unkind remark spoken by one child to another can be the catalyst for friendship to crumble.

“I’m not your friend anymore!”

“I don’t like you. You’re mean!”

“Loser.”

Below are six strategies for working with your child if he or she is struggling with ‘mean’ friends.

Be emotionally available

Six year-old Ella stumbled into the house after school, sobbing at full volume. Ella was heartbroken after another unhappy day involving ‘mean friends’. When Ella sobbed her way into the living room, she needed her mother to sit with her, listen, reflect feelings, and let her know she is ‘there’.

“That made you feel so sad.”

“I bet you were hurt in your heart.”

Reassuring your child that these feelings and experiences are normal is one of the most important things you can do for your child.

Perspective taking

Paige was being mean to Chanel. After taking time to be emotionally available Chanel’s mum asked why Paige might be being mean. Chanel replied, “Paige told me she doesn’t like it when I come and play at her house because I’m stealing her family from her.”

Such insights using perspective taking allowed Chanel and her mum to develop strategies for dealing with Paige’s ‘mean’ behaviour.

Allow time

In some instances, ‘mean’ kids may be having a bad day or week. We all have those. By listening, monitoring, and offering gentle guidance and strategies (like encouraging kindness and sharing), often things can settle down in a relatively short timeframe.

Get together with the other parent

Tiffany was concerned. For over four weeks her son had experienced difficulties with his ‘best’ friend. There had been tears and conflict. With much trepidation she called Olivia to talk. The two mums met once the boys were at school. Tiffany gained perspective and insight, and had a good opportunity to share concerns.

Most parents are very willing to communicate. They’re usually as concerned about the issues as you are.

Warning: When you talk with another parent you may discover that the ‘mean’ friend issue is a two-way street. Your child may not always be the victim. Keep an open mind and work towards solutions rather than blaming and accusation.

Encourage play dates and observe the children

By bringing children together in a safe, monitored environment you will do several things:

  • First, you can watch them and better understand how their relationship is working;
  • Second, you can remove additional peers and allow the relationship to grow in an environment with less distractions than the school yard; and
  • Third, you have the opportunity to teach and guide the children into appropriate relationship behaviour.
  • As an example, we might say to an aggressive child, “At our house we speak kindly to others.”

Involve the school

Most school teachers and principals want the very best for their students, and that includes good peer-to-peer relationships. If all of your personal efforts, and those of other parents, have not been successful in improving things between children share your concerns with a teacher. Seek their involvement and guidance. They’ve dealt with many similar issues before.

This article was written for Kidspot by Justin Coulson, Ph. D. Justin is a relationships and parenting expert, author and father of five children. Find him on FacebookTwitter, and at happyfamilies.com.au.

Share your experience of cruel friends and trying to help kids with friendships.

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The Best Friend’s Guide to a Marriage Break-up

Watching a friend go through a marriage breakdown is a heart-wrenching experience, but it happens all too often.

Author Bella Vendramini documented her own divorce in her book Naked in Public (Hachette). Here are Bella’s tips on how you can be a supportive friend when your friend’s family is breaking up.

1. Be her shoulder to cry on

A marriage break up is a difficult time and any little thing you can do to lessen your friend’s load or to help her through it will have 10 times the significance for her, than the effort you need to expend in order to do it. “Your job is to be there as a shoulder, a box of tissues, a team coach, a guide and a helper,” says Bella.

The most important thing is to be there for your friend, to let her cry and to let her talk. “I remember when I went through my own marriage break up, I was feeling so vulnerable and scared about the future. Dealing with regret, hurt, betrayal, love, loneliness and fear. A cacophony of emotions are generated during a break up. Having loving and supportive friends with open ears and kind words are balm for the soul. I truly don’t think I could have gotten through it without my friends.”

2. Give kind words and listen

Bella adds that a friend’s kind words or non-judgmental advice can make the difference between dealing healthily and eventually moving on with life or falling into despondency or depression. “Some kind words, some loving cuddles and sane advice goes a long, long way,” says Bella.

Listening is much more important than giving advice, says Bella. “She needs non-judgmental listening, more than she needs judgmental advice. Put yourself in her shoes and see how it feels and learn by asking yourself what you’d want to hear if you were in the same situation.”

3. Time heals all wounds, but …

Essentially time is going to be the great healer – so be sure to remind your friend of that. “Let her know that it will get better, that she’ll feel all sorts of emotions but as time goes by, those high salient emotions will ebb and they will eventually disappear,” says Bella. “Also, you can suggest professional counselling. You don’t need to be at death’s door to get counselling – in fact it is a great way to get effective tools to help with a relationship breakdown including help with mourning, grieving, anger and moving on.” Also let your friend know that you can get subsidised sessions with a counsellor or psychologist, through referral from your GP.

4. Help her get some ‘me time’

Part of your job is also helping your friend nurture herself, especially if she’s thinking about others rather than herself. “If she has children, it’ll be important to her to lessen the fallout for them so she may neglect her own needs – this is where you come in.” That means you might be there simply to listen, with a glass of wine, when she needs you – and even with your dancing shoes on, if she fancies heading out to a bar for a fun evening out.

Organising a day trip away is a great way to get your friend’s mind off her ex. “She may be despondent and may not want to do much, so perhaps surprise her with a day trip to the country,” says Bella. “Just to get her out of the house and breathing the fresh air. Those little steps all help win the race back to health and optimism.” So buy tickets to the races, book an evening at a day spa or just go and see a new film together at the cinema.

5. Lend a hand with her kids

Offer to take her children for the day or help her with some chores around the house. “If she’s been married a long time, it’ll be new and strange for her dealing with things on her own, so be prepared to be there for her, or at least offer a hand,” says Bella. That might mean offering to help her out with the ironing or cooking up some meals and freezing them for the weeks ahead.

6. Don’t knock her partner

One of the main things is to be non-judgmental – including about the partner she’s broken up with. “Just let her talk and sympathise with her instead of judging her decisions or the man she’s chosen,” says Bella. “Inevitably one moment she’ll miss him terribly and mourn the loss of him, the next moment she’ll think he’s the worst creature on earth and want to put a hit out on him. Let her go through that process, those ups and downs, it helps her to come to terms with an even view of him and their past relationship.”

As a friend, you’ll have to be patient even when you feel frustrated over her slow process, or constant need to talk about it – but just as it will pass for her, it’ll pass for you too and you’ll resume your friendship as it was. “Remember, men come and go – but friendships last a lifetime,” says Bella, adding that it’s OK to trash talk about her ex with friends, but it’s never OK to bad mouth a former partner in front of children.

This article was written by Joanna Bounds for Kidspot.com.au and has been adapted for Kidspot.co.nz

If you’ve been through a separation, or helped someone through one, what actually helped?

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Should Kids Only Walk To School With An Adult?

Following the death of a six year old girl in Gisborne in 2017, a New Zealand coroner has advised against allowing children to walk to school without adult supervision.

Carla Neems was just a few weeks away from her seventh birthday when, after scootering 450 metres home from school (and most of the way with older children), she tragically walked into the path of a rubbish truck which was momentarily parked halfway across her home’s driveway.

As well as recommending better signage and the possibility of proximity alarms for rubbish trucks, the coroner said that there was parental responsibility to ensure that Carla was accompanied from the school by an adult.

“I do not accept that it was acceptable for Carla to go to and from school in the care of her older siblings – and part of the way home alone. The siblings were too young to be vested with that responsibility. Sadly the confidence that Mr and Mrs Neems had about Carla’s road safety was misplaced and flies in the face of what happened,” Coroner Tim Scott, said.

According to Safekids Aotearoa, more than five child pedestrians are killed each year, more than 100 are hospitalised, and children aged five to nine years old are most at risk.

The coroner’s words have been widely condemned as being harsh, following what many view as a tragic accident.

Should we be walking our kids to and from school?

New Zealand law states that it is illegal to leave a child alone under the age of 14 years without reasonable provision for their care. However, the term “reasonable provision” leaves a lot to parent’s interpretation and individual circumstances – for example, the maturity level of the child and the length of time without supervision. Deciding at what age a child should be safe to walk to school would need to take into account the child’s understanding of road safety, the distance to school, as well as traffic levels, etc.

So should we be escorting our kids every step to and from school until they’re 14? Or do we just have to accept that we can’t always control our child’s surroundings – we can only provide them with guidance and the knowledge required to make safer decisions?

Tips for child pedestrian safety

  • Plan the safest route possible and walk through it with your child several times.
  • If there is a footpath, use it.
  • Kids should walk as far away from the roadside as possible.
  • If there is no path, walk on the grass verge and face oncoming traffic.
  • Avoid distractions such as smartphones and headphones.
  • Beware of cars entering and exiting driveways.
  • It is harder for drivers of large vehicles to see small children so keep well away.
  • When crossing the road, choose to use a pedestrian crossing. Always wait to ensure that cars have stopped before entering the pedestrian crossing.
  • If there is no designated crossing, stand one step away from the edge of the road, look in all directions for traffic and listen. When the road is clear, walk briskly across, checking for traffic.
  • Avoid crossing between parked cars but if there is no choice always choose cars without drivers in them and stand at the front of the car by the headlight nearest the road. Look and listen for traffic. When the road is clear, cross briskly, looking each way for traffic.

What are your thoughts on kids walking to and from school? Or scootering, riding bikes, taking public transport on their own or with siblings or older kids?

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her world julieWritten by Julie Scanlon

Julie is Editor for Kidspot NZ and our MVP. Her hobbies include laughing uncontrollably at her own jokes, annoying her family by asking questions about movie plots, and never taking anything too seriously. She speaks a little Spanish and a lot of Yorkshire. 

Favourite motto to live by: “It ain’t nothing but a thing”

Second Children Are More Likely To Be Trouble

If your second child has a habit of driving you up the wall with their behaviour, then it seems that you are not alone in your exasperation with your second offspring.

A study in 2017 by economists in the USA and Denmark concluded that second-born children, especially boys, are more likely to get into trouble at school, skip school, or even be convicted of a crime, than first-born children.

Second-born boys

The study looked at families with two or more children in both Denmark and Florida, with a focus on second-born boys.

Despite large differences in environments across the two areas, we find remarkably consistent results: in families with two or more children, second-born boys are on the order of 20 to 40 percent more likely to be disciplined in school and enter the criminal justice system compared to first-born boys even when we compare siblings.

Source: https://www.nber.org/papers/w23038

The outcome for a pair of brothers was much worse than a girl-boy first and second-born dynamic.

What’s causing the bad behaviour?

There are a few potential contributing factors that could be resulting in this unruly lot of second-born boys.

The first factor is role models. A first-born has their parents, ie adults, as their main role models. Unfortunately for the second-born, they also have an older sibling as a role model – often a crazy-ass toddler who thinks the world revolves around them!

The second factor is parental attention (you just knew it was going to come down to being the fault of the parents, right?). Usually a first-born will get all of their parents’ attention. Once you throw another child into the mix, of course, attention and time are split. Plus, with second and subsequent children, parents tend to tone down the overly anxious parenting and we all just sort of cruise along more. But, the study found that we still invest just as much into our children’s education, our second-born kids are just as healthy and are more likely to attend preschool.

So there it is – we’re giving our second-born kids less attention and worse role models! In fact, first-born kids are often getting a double dose of attention as they tend to benefit from the time available to parents during maternity leave for the second-born child too.

What can parents do about it?

Whilst the results and further studies may help to influence parental leave policy as a social benefit, there isn’t really a lot we can change in our parenting. You are only one person with 24 hours in a day. You can only do your best at giving each of your children an equal amount of attention but it is simply not always possible.

The findings are also just from one study and only indicate an increase in behavioural problems, so it’s not going to apply to every second-born boy. I have two boys myself, born approximately two years apart. And yet, the second-born boy is all about following the rules and often asks if we can send his older sibling back for a refund when he stuffs up, so I don’t think the terrible role modelling quite gelled in this instance!

Source: National Bureau of Economic Research

her world julieWritten by Julie Scanlon

Julie is Editor for Kidspot NZ and our MVP. Her hobbies include laughing uncontrollably at her own jokes, annoying her family by asking questions about movie plots, and never taking anything too seriously. She speaks a little Spanish and a lot of Yorkshire. 

Favourite motto to live by: “It ain’t nothing but a thing”

Things I Wish I Had Known Before Childbirth

Back when I was pregnant with my first child, I felt quite overwhelmed by the amount of advice and horror stories that I was told by the women around me.

I was quite lucky in a lot of ways. Being a larger lady, I barely showed so I didn’t have quite the onslaught of stories that I might have had if my pregnancy had showed to strangers. My mum friends and work colleagues certainly helped fuel any anxiety I had about labour though. My own mum didn’t help either. She went into labour with me on a Tuesday and had me on the Saturday. Yes, every pregnant woman wants to be told a 5-day labour is possible!

I read a lot of Ina May childbirth stories, to give myself a more balanced view of how labour might be. However, no matter how many stories you hear or read, experiencing it first hand is always going to be an eye-opener.

Your Waters Breaking

I was so paranoid that my waters would break, and I would be completely unprepared. I slept on a Brollysheet and sat on the sofa on a Brollysheet. I had been given the “waters broke in the supermarket” story from a few friends as well. So, I was paranoid about going out, unless it was to the outside where clean up was a hose away.

Luckily or unluckily for me, depending on how you look at it, I ended up having to be induced so my waters were broken for me, on a hospital bed. Nothing could have prepared me though, for the sensation of a small spa pool’s worth of hot liquid leaving my person. My husband was not prepared either, as he was holding my hand and had to jump out of the splash zone.

What Contractions Feel Like

I had heard that contractions would be painful, that they would feel like “pressure” or would be like waves of sensation (pain or otherwise). Only a few mentioned it being like menstrual cramping or needing to go to the toilet. Pre-induction I had had a few niggles, that could have been contractions or not. Some were definitely the ol’ Braxton Hicks. Some were likely the baby having hiccups. Real contractions are unmistakable, and I would say they are definitely more like waves of menstrual cramping.

Pain Level

I remember one of our friends laughing at me when I said I was planning no pain relief during labour. “You’ll be screaming for the drugs.” That just made me even more determined not to be. I think everyone is different when it comes to labour pain though, and there’s no shame in getting some relief if you need it to get through. It’s definitely a marathon and not (normally) a sprint. With my first labour, it was nine hours and my pain level wasn’t too bad. My body had time to build up the endorphins, and I had plenty of breaks between contractions to chat and have a few laughs.

When I finally felt like pushing, the pushing itself helped to relieve a lot of the increased pain. The worst part of the whole labour for me was baby crowning. Someone described it to me as a burning sensation, which gave me an altogether different impression of what to expect. It’s not a hot pain, it’s like peeing glass. I’m sorry.

Post Delivery

Immediately after having baby things are going to be sore. If you have a tear, or even if you don’t have a tear there’s likely to be grazing. Going to the toilet is a necessary evil, and some of it will be mind over matter! But when peeing, if you can lean forward as much as possible and if you have a squeeze bottle you can also pour warm water on your perineum as you go to minimise the sting.

Things are also going to be swollen for a while, and I would NOT go looking right away. Just get onto your kegels! I also made the mistake of looking in a mirror directly after birth. I looked like a deflated sausage casing. So, there was that. And then there was the six weeks of having to wear sanitary pads as your uterus goes back to its normal size and has the mother of all clean outs.

Mummy Paranoia

I joke with my friends that my mother’s guilt kicked in the moment that second line appeared on the test. But if you think you are feeling guilty about the soft cheese you had two weeks before you knew you were pregnant, it’s nothing compared to when the baby is here. Those first days when you can barely sleep because every snuffle or delayed breath makes you paranoid. Every cry – is that colic? Every nappy – should it be that colour?! Every feed – are they getting enough?

It’s normal to worry, and it’s normal to have a few blue days – your body is pumping you full of hormones and it will affect your mood. But if you start to feel like it’s a never-ending spiral of hopelessness, or it’s affecting your ability to connect with your baby then talk to your midwife or go and visit your GP. Post Natal Depression is not a fun ride (I know) but there is help out there and talking about it really does help.

kymmageWritten by Kym Moore

When she isn’t herding kids or cats, Kym loves to drink craft beer, or share a whine and a wine with friends. She is also partial to a well-made cocktail. Her happy places include sitting on couch watching British Comedy and daydreaming. Lots of daydreaming.

Favourite artist: Bowie

Princesses, Magic and Adventure – Fiction Books for Girls (and Boys)!

When I became a mother to a daughter, I became a bit more aware of the messages that some of the classic books send to little girls (and boys). I grew up on princesses, and damsels in distress. To six year old me, it seemed fairly reasonable that I should focus on happily ever after, once I had been ‘rescued’ of course.

I wanted to share the books and stories of my childhood with my daughter. But I wanted to make sure that the messages she got were a fairer mix. She could be the princess of her story, if that is what she wanted. She could also be the hero though, wave a sword and do the rescuing.

Princesses

A friend gave me a copy of an amazing little book called “The Paper Bag Princess”, which was written by Robert Munsch. In this story, the princess digs deep against the odds and does the rescuing. There is no happily ever after with her prince. Though she does live happily ever after anyway. The story tickled me and delighted my daughter who wanted it read all the time.

Another feisty character is Babette Cole’s “Princess Smartypants”. Being forced to find a suitor, Princess Smartypants makes it quite an impossible task. After all, she is having too much fun living life on her terms and hanging out with her gaggle of pets.

These books were excellent for my daughter when she was in pre-school and still held their charm into primary school. A great series of books for older kids (late primary to middle school) are the Enchanted Forest Chronicles. Patricia C. Wrede’s Cimorene is the perfect princess for those girls who don’t want to sit on the sideline. She is a self-rescuing, smart, and very practical princess!

Adventures in a Strange Land

Going classic, L. Frank Baum’s “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” and Lewis Carroll’s “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” are both great stories featuring an adventuring girl and a wide range of strange new friends.

Madeleine L’Engle’s “A Wrinkle In Time” has to get a mention here. Best for ages nine and up, this story has been turned into an awesome movie too. The book follows Meg, her gifted brother Charles Wallace and a friend Calvin as they move through worlds looking for Meg’s father. Parts of the book get a little creepy, but more like a tame episode of Dr Who. There are some religious themes to this one as well.

My other absolute favourite series, for intermediate to high school aged kids are the Fairyland books by Cathrynne M Valente. The first book is called “The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making”, which is the best book title I have ever seen. The book follows September as she is whisked away from her boring life by the Green Wind to have an adventure. She makes her way around Fairyland making friends and enemies and doing noble deeds. As an adult, I loved these books. They are so rich, and just like falling back into childhood. There are so many great passages about growing up, or perhaps not needing to.

Can you really mention books about a girl who goes to a strange land without mentioning “The BFG” by Roald Dahl? Oh the horror of the bean-eating giants, and snozzcumbers! This one is probably my favourite Dahl story, though “Matilda” is also very good.

Another childhood favourite for me was Mary Norton’s “The Borrowers”. I was fascinated by the idea of little people living in my walls. I related to Arrietty quite a lot as well – that sense of growing up and out-growing your place, and then trying to find where you fit.

Magic

Stephanie Burgis’ “The Dragon With a Chocolate Heart” was a book my husband picked out. Our daughter loves anything with dragons, so she was immediately drawn to this story. It’s an excellent book about facing changes and challenges and learning more about who you are because of that.

Tiffany Aching is a frying pan welding witch-to-be in Terry Pratchett’s “The Wee Free Men”. This one is best for middle to high school aged kids. It’s hilarious and had our daughter in stitches, while also providing an entertaining adventure.

Jill Murphy’s Mildred Hubble is the worst student at Miss Cackle’s Academy for Witches in “The Worst Witch”. This one is also a Netflix series and it’s one of our favourites to binge.

For younger children, Julia Donaldson’s “Room on the Broom” is a magic adventure with a lovely witch and the many friends she makes as she travels on her broom. It’s an easy read, which is good because you’ll be re-reading it a lot!

Now, although these books have girl characters in the lead, that doesn’t mean they are stories solely for girls. Remember that many books are read by both girls and boys that have male lead characters in them – Harry Potter, anyone? So, feel free to introduce boys to these awesome stories too.

Pick up some of these titles today!

The Paper Bag Princess

Buy Now

Princess Smartypants

Buy Now

Room on the Broom

Buy Now

The Dragon with a Chocolate Heart

Buy Now

The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making

Buy Now

The Worst Witch

Buy Now

kymmageWritten by Kym Moore

When she isn’t herding kids or cats, Kym loves to drink craft beer, or share a whine and a wine with friends. She is also partial to a well-made cocktail. Her happy places include sitting on couch watching British Comedy and daydreaming. Lots of daydreaming.

Favourite artist: Bowie

The Most Common Middle Names

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Do middle names follow the trends that the most popular first names set?

Each year the top baby names are announced and, while there are a few that have been popular for some time or have made a resurgence, often the lists are very different to what was popular when you were born. They can even be quite different to the most common names that were around when your children were born, especially if their age is into double figures. However, middle names, seem to have a tendency to stick around.

The introduction of middle names

If you were born over a century ago, it’s unlikely that your parents would have bothered choosing a middle name for you. According to the 1911 census in the UK, just 37 percent of people had a middle name.

Adding a middle name only became a “thing” over the last century, mainly as a way of commemorating a family member. Whether this in recognition of a parent or grandparent, or, as in many cases following the two World Wars, a way of acknowledging someone lost too soon, middle names have become so popular that now 80% of children are given a midde name and 10% are given two or more.

Not following the trends

A study conducted by Ancestry.com discovered that many middle names are chosen based on heritage, rather than following the latest name trends, with 55 percent of parents saying that they chose their child’s middle name in honour of a family member. So, it is unsurprising that the most popular middle names have tended to stick around for generations and we often share a middle name with a lot of others. Do a quick ask around your friends and you will find the same middle names popping up again and again!

The Ancestry.com top 10 list of middle names contains none of the current top 10 girls first names and only three make an appearance from the boys list. There is still a creative side to choosing middle names though. Some parents reportedly selected a name after taking inspiration from TV, film, music, royalty, or modern culture.

Most popular middle names

The most popular middle names from the Ancestry.com study (in the UK) are below.

Source: blogs.ancestry.co.uk/cm/traditional-choices-top-list-of-most-popular-middle-names

Girls – UK Boys – UK
1. Louise 1. James
2. Rose 2. John
3. Grace 3. William
4. Jane, Elizabeth (4th equal) 4. Thomas
5. Anne/Ann 5. David
6. May/Mae 6. Robert
7. Marie 7. Edward
8. Mary 8. Peter, Lee (8th equal)
9. Amy, Catherine (9th equal) 9. Christopher, Alexander (9th equal)
10. Victoria, Kate (10th equal) 10. Michael, Daniel (10th equal)

The top middle names in the USA, as per a study by website Namenerds.com, are below.

Most commonly, middle names were chosen as they were commemorating a grandparent, the mother or father (or their middle name), a family name, an aunt or uncle, or a great grandparent.

Source: www.namenerds.com/uucn/midsurvey.html

Girls – USA Boys – USA
1. Marie/Maree 1. Alan
2. Anne/Ann 2. Michael
3. Lynn 3. James
4. Elizabeth 4. William
5. Lee/Leigh 5. Lee
6. Nicole 6. John
7. Louise 7. Robert
8. Michelle 8. Andrew
9. Renee 9. David
10. Jean 10. Joseph

Whilst I was unable to find any NZ studies of middle names, anecdotal evidence shows that we also tend to choose traditional names for our middle monikers.

Are middle names changing with the times?

Genealogy website, MooseRoots, has revealed the most common middle names in the US by decade. Back in 1900 to 1909, the most popular female middle names were Mae, Marie, and Elizabeth. For males, it was William, Joseph, and Edward. By the 1950s, the most popular were Ann, Marie, and Lynn, along with Lee, Edward, and Allen. By the 1980s not much had changed and the top names for females were Marie, Ann, and Lynn. For males it was Michael, Lee, and James. Finally, for the 2010s, the most common middle names were Marie, Grace, and Rose along with James, Lee, and Michael.

Source: The-most-common-middle-names-from-the-last-12-decades

Across the ditch, BabyCenter Australia did a survey to find out the most popular middle names for babies born in 2010. It revealed similar trends with Rose, Grace, Jane, Louise, and Jade topping the list for the girls and James, John, William, Thomas, and Alexander leading the list for the boys.

Where did your or your child’s middle name originate from?

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her world julieWritten by Julie Scanlon

Julie is Editor for Kidspot NZ and our MVP. Her hobbies include laughing uncontrollably at her own jokes, annoying her family by asking questions about movie plots, and never taking anything too seriously. She speaks a little Spanish and a lot of Yorkshire. 

Favourite motto to live by: “It ain’t nothing but a thing”

Easy Meals Teens Can Make Themselves

Before your teen heads off for some independence, whether it be flatting, or higher education, or if you simply want them to learn a few new dishes to make at home, ensure they are armed with at least a small repertoire of easy dinners that they can make themselves.

Some of these recipes are a little bit more of a challenge but can also be great for teaching tweens and younger kids with some supervision.

Stir fries

Stir Fry

The great thing about a stir fry is it can not only be tailored to your own personal tastes, but it can also be made with basically whatever is in the fridge! That’s great for budget-conscious shoppers.

Omelettes

Eggs are amazingly versatile and nutritious so jump on the omelette bandwagon for a quick and tasty meal. Serve with a green salad for a healthy dinner.

Wraps

Tortillas, burritos, fajitas, wraps – whatever you want to call them – are an easy way to use up bits and pieces left over from other meals. Grab a wrap, pop in some capsicum strips, a couple of tomato quarters, a handful of salad leaves, grated cheese and your favourite spicy sauce or salsa and you’re done.

Burgers

Skip the Maccas and create your own brilliant burger. Serve with some crispy homemade wedges.

Baked potatoes

Baked Potatoes

Simple baked potatoes topped with cheese and beans is a great set and forget dish that’s great as a warming meal in winter.

Curries

Speaking of winter warmers, nothing beats a curry. Rice is the perfect accompaniment – whether you cook it from scratch or grab a ready-made bag.

Simple pasta dishes

Actually, you would be hard-pressed to find a difficult pasta dish.

The one recipe you can’t do without

There is one recipe that you can use over and over again, creating a multitude of different dishes – bolognaise. If you can make a bolognaise sauce then you can also:

  • Serve it over a baked potato
  • Add it to cooked pasta, spaghetti or rice
  • Spread it on a pizza base, top with cheese and bake
  • Top it with mashed potato for a cottage pie
  • Wrap it in pastry and bake for a tasty pie
  • Use it in tacos or tortillas
  • Pile it on top of nachos, add sour cream, cheese, and spring onion
  • Stuff capsicums
  • Add some red kidney beans, cayene pepper, and BBQ sauce and serve as chilli
  • Serve it on toast

her world julieWritten by Julie Scanlon

Julie is Editor for Kidspot NZ and our MVP. Her hobbies include laughing uncontrollably at her own jokes, annoying her family by asking questions about movie plots, and never taking anything too seriously. She speaks a little Spanish and a lot of Yorkshire. 

Favourite motto to live by: “It ain’t nothing but a thing”

Life Skills Every Teen Needs Before Leaving Home

Moving out of home, whether for further education, a big overseas adventure, or going flatting, is the biggest change in your child’s life – and no doubt it will have a huge impact on your own too.

Just as we equip our children with skills needed to grow and develop throughout their early life, there are also skills that teens and young adults need to start this next phase of their life successfully, ie without the need to run home to mum when they need some washing done!

Whether you start building these skills up from their tween years (or earlier), or you do a last minute dash before they fly the coop, here’s some of the life skills that will stand them in good stead.

Cook a meal or two – preferably more!

Anyone can throw a ready meal in the microwave, but actually cooking a nutritious balanced meal is a whole different thing. If your child has had food technology classes at high school then that’s a great start. Encouraging your teen to cook for the whole family once a week can be a gateway into them discovering new recipes and cooking techniques, while being mindful of dietary requirements and nutrition.

Food boxes are a great way to get them into cooking with a set plan, and ingredients and instructions on hand.

Teens should also be able to:

  • Operate a microwave (ie knowing what NOT to put in it)
  • Use an oven and elements (positioning pots safely, pre-heating, etc)
  • Load a dishwasher correctly (or near enough to correct, because we all know how pedantic we can be about this one!)
  • Use measuring cups, vegetable peeler, grater, food processor, etc
  • Store food safely (cos leftovers are king when you’re on a budget)

Buy groceries on a budget

Most young people won’t be flashing the cash when they move away from home so learning how to make a meal plan and shopping list, compare prices, and stick to a budget is essential. Give them a few trial runs at it with the weekly shopping budget!

Get from A to B

Without their private chauffeur to call on, and a job or school to get to, teens need to be familiar with their transport options (depending on what is available). Do they know about safety around trains and tracks? Can they understand a bus timetable? Can they read a map?

Drive with know-how

Getting a driver licence is only the beginning of being an independent driver. Drivers also need to know:

  • How to pump gas (seems obvious but sometimes parents forget to take a back seat on this)
  • Change a tyre
  • Check tyre pressure
  • Jump-start a car (including IF they should jump-start their own car, or someone else’s)
  • When to get a service
  • Checking oil and water
  • What to do if they breakdown or in an emergency
  • How to pay for parking
  • Registration and WOF requirements

Stay healthy

“Don’t come running to me when you break your leg!” But also, don’t come running when you’ve left home and have a cold. Knowing how to look after themselves when they are ill is a necessity. They should be able to take their own temperature, put on a plaster, do basic first aid, know the basics of which over-the-counter medications to take, as well as understand the importance of hygiene, rest and hydration. Most importantly they need to understand when and how to seek medical help – or when to call mum to find out if they need help!

Fill out a form

This is a BIG one. So many people, even grown adults, are bamboozled when it comes to filling in a form with the correct information. Get your kids into the habit of doing this for themselves as early as you can. Signing them up for sports or applying for an after school job? Get your child to fill in the form as much as they can on their own. This applies to online forms as well (with supervision when required). Work on those reading comprehension skills so they know what is being asked as well as how to answer.

Your child should also be able to write a professional email (drop that text speak!) and know the basics of staying safe online.

Be financially savvy

Money definitely makes the world go round, so your newly independent child needs to know how to control their finances. As well as having a good understanding of what things cost (a couple of dollars will not fix a broken down car), they should know how to:

They will also need to have at least basic understanding of credit, savings, insurance, and income tax obligations.

Basic home care and maintenance

Whether they’re flatting, room-sharing, or out on their own, knowing these basic skills will go a long way to helping their independence:

  • Keeping a clean and hygienic home, ie vacuuming, mopping, surface cleaning
  • How to clean a toilet
  • How to change a lightbulb
  • Turn off water or gas
  • Reset a fuse/circuit breaker box (when safe)
  • Wash dishes by hand
  • Sort recycling
  • Operate a washing machine (as well as hanging out laundry, or knowing how to use a laundromat)
  • Weed a garden
  • Plant and care for a few veggies
  • Mow a lawn
  • Use basic tools, ie hammer, drill
  • Sew on a button

Social and emotional skills

These skills will help your child in so many situations, whether it be engaging with professors, employers, housemates, or new acquaintances. Many of them are things that we begin teaching our children from their very early years and continue to build on as they grow older.

  • Use good manners (please, thank you)
  • Show consideration for others (give up your seat for another, hold open a door, etc)
  • Be punctual
  • Listen and engage in conversation
  • Show empathy
  • Build healthy relationships
  • Ask for help when needed and offer assistance when they see a need
  • Understand peer pressure
  • Know when to remove themselves from an uncomfortable or unsafe situation
  • Be able to admit when you’re wrong and make amends
  • Develop routines and organise their time
  • Set goals and prioritise
  • Problem solve (use pros and cons for decision making)
  • Build resilience
  • Cope with emotions and anxiety or know when to seek help

What skills, if any, were you missing when you left home? Or what do you still need to teach your teen?

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her world julieWritten by Julie Scanlon

Julie is Editor for Kidspot NZ and our MVP. Her hobbies include laughing uncontrollably at her own jokes, annoying her family by asking questions about movie plots, and never taking anything too seriously. She speaks a little Spanish and a lot of Yorkshire. 

Favourite motto to live by: “It ain’t nothing but a thing”

Gentle Activities for Sick Children

When the kids are sick and really need to rest, boredom can set in quickly! Between the necessary naps, these activities will keep the kids occupied without them leaving their sickbed, and all the while keeping the noise level down and energy levels restrained.

Here are our picks for gentle activities for sick children.

1. TV and DVDs

When the kids are sick this is your screen-time free pass! Let them watch their favourite show or movie from their sick bed or rugged up on the couch. It’s the perfect wind-down after one of our other activities (and a sanity-saver for their carer!).

2. Story time

Read a favourite story together, or pop on an audio book if their eyes are too tired.

3. Make a blanket fort

Creat a blanket fort with copious amounts of snuggly throws and pillows, pop in a torch, some books and snuggly toys and they will have their very own hideaway while still resting.

4. Play hospital

Dolls, action figures and stuffed animals make great patients. You can also use this time to help explain to your child what has made them ill, and how they can get better.

5. Break out the photo albums

One of my kids’ favourite things is seeing old photos of family members and pets and hearing stories about them so break out the photo albums (or open your online photo album) and explore some memories together.

6. Take one baking tray

The trouble with playing games in bed is that pieces tend to get lost which leads to tired, headachey, frustration. So it’s magnets to the rescue! Take a clean baking tray and use magnetic letters to spell out words, or fridge magnets to create a story. Play games like, “how many animals can you spell out that start with the letter T?” Or spell out answers for rounds of eye spy (sneaky learning involved!).

You can also play a memory game. Pop a few small household items or toys on the baking sheet (more for older kids) and let the child view them for 10 seconds. Then cover then up with a tea-towel, surreptiously remove one or two items, uncover the sheet again, and see if they can pick what’s missing.

7. Picnics and tea parties

The good thing about pretend tea parties is that they’re a great way to get much needed liquids into a patient. Use twirly straws and funky cups to serve up some sneaky hydration. Or spread a blanket out on the lounge floor, invite a few teddies along, and have a picnic inside.

8. Activity sheets

Go old school with some activities on paper. Try colouring-in, mazes, and dot-to-dots.

9. Get knotted!

Try some simple threading, lacing, or knitting activities to keep their fingers and minds busy – they may even learn a new skill. If your own creative skills need some fine-tuning, grab a how-to video from YouTube.

10. Cards

Simple card games are a great way to keep the kids occupied when you need just a short activity. For older kids, let them explore some card tricks on YouTube and see if they can fool you!

11. Papercrafts

Whether they want to create a fleet of paper aeroplanes or learn some origami skills, creating with paper is an easy and fulfilling activity. Try some coloured paper or wrapping paper for a colourful effect. Or simply write a letter to a friend or family member.

12. Get creative

Here’s a few simple craft ideas that can generate some quiet activity:

13. Play a game

Hangman, tic tac toe, or battleships are simple and quick enough to be played between sleeps and sneezes. Alphabet sequence games (like the one below) can be played without any accessories and are perfect for sharing a giggle.

14. Tell jokes

Laughter really is the best medicine, so break out your best, lames, or funnies jokes!

What activities do you rely on when the kids are ill?

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her world julieWritten by Julie Scanlon

Julie is Editor for Kidspot NZ and our MVP. Her hobbies include laughing uncontrollably at her own jokes, annoying her family by asking questions about movie plots, and never taking anything too seriously. She speaks a little Spanish and a lot of Yorkshire. 

Favourite motto to live by: “It ain’t nothing but a thing”

10 Ways to Keep Toys Clean and Organised

When you feel like the toy population in your house is out of control, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Everywhere you step, there’s LEGO underfoot, the tables are covered in craft ‘essentials’, and a small army of cars and dolls and teddies roam the floors unchecked.

The time has come to take matters in hand, and we’ve got 10 top tips to get you started on keeping toys clean and organised.

1. Start the cull

The first step, says Lissanne Oliver, professional organiser and founder of Sorted! Organising and Decluttering is simply to reduce the volume.

“With so much of our stuff, we use 20 percent of what we have, 80 percent of the time,” she says. “Kids are the same. Help them identify those items (or make your own secret squirrel decisions when they’re not around, if that’s easier) and place emphasis on those items, rather than what’s being let go.”

She suggests using your storage as boundaries – “We are going to save and value what fits comfortably on these shelves.”

Extra: A great time to do this is pre-Christmas and birthday, when you can focus on “making room for new stuff”.

2. Help your kids manage their own stuff

We all know that it’s much easier to make decisions and think clearly when we’re in a clean, decluttered space. Teaching kids how to maintain their living areas is a life skill. “Ask your kids to nominate their top five favourite toys and make them responsible for looking after those items,” says Oliver. “And lead by example. If you’re sorting out stuff around the house, get them involved so that they can learn the process.”

Extra: When you do your own sorting, make four piles – keep, donate, recycle, trash – and explain to older kids why you’re putting things in each pile.

3. Dump the toy box

The old-fashioned toy box might look cute, but we all know that the toy your child wants is somehow ALWAYS at the bottom, which means everything ends up on the floor. Instead, divide toys into categories, in clear or easily visible tubs, and put them at child-friendly height.

Extra: A picture on the outside can be used to identify contents for kids who are not yet able to read.

4. Cull the craft materials

You know that feeling when you go to the supermarket and there are 30 kinds of cereal and you just don’t even know where to start. Now look at your craft supply box or table: “Creativity is stymied by too much choice,” says Lissanne. “Take a less is more approach to craft materials and the kids might surprise you.”

Extra: A spice rack can be perfect for storing glitter, beads, googly eyes, and other small craft pieces. And try a simple draw divider for everything from washi tape to pencils.

5. Use unusual spaces

If you’ve never considered the true beauty of a clear, plastic over-the door shoe holder think again. They’re perfect for everything from Barbie dolls and model cars, to craft supplies and even small dress-up items.

Extra: The walls become vertical storage with the addition of a magnetic knife strip (you see them in kitchens). Use the strip for model cars and other metal toys, or simply glue a small magnet to any small item you want off the floor.

6. Banish mouldy bath toys

Fix a spring-tension shower or curtain rod (the spring-loading is in the fitting and means the rod is not permanent) above your bath. Then hang some small, simple wire baskets from curtain rings, and use those to store your bath toys (like this). The wire baskets mean the toys dry out between use and should remain mould-free longer.

Extra: To clean mouldy bath toys, soak overnight in a mix of 2 cups white vinegar to 500ml warm water (make sure toys are completely covered in solution, weighing down if necessary). Remove from mix and scrub with a bristle cleaning brush. Rinse thoroughly. If toys are not completely clean at this stage, cover toys in warm water and add two foaming denture tablets. Soak overnight.

7. The puzzle puzzle

If your child loves puzzles, chances are you’re losing a lot of storage space to bulky boxes. Instead, place each puzzle in a large, zippered pencil case, remembering to cut the image from the front of the box and stick it to the front of each pouch. Then put all pouches in one, larger tub.

Extra: If you want to save a particular puzzle for posterity, you can use puzzle glue to keep it together. Slide wax paper under the completed puzzle, leaving an extra inch all the way around. Use a rolling pin to flatten your puzzle, then, following the instructions on the glue bottle, spread the glue all over the puzzle. Once dry (two to four hours), you should be able to pick up the puzzle in one piece.

8. Where the action is

If your child’s action figure collection is beginning to resemble a small, jumbled city, take action. Photo shelves or ledges are the perfect width for the action heroes of the world.

Extra: If all that world-saving sometimes leaves your action figure collection a bit dusty, submerge them in lukewarm water (never hot) with simple dish soap (or fizzy denture tablets if you prefer) for five minutes. Brush gently with a toothbrush, rinse in cold water and pat dry.

9. Stuffed with teddies?

The first step with stuffed toy storage is to cull (see step one). No child really needs 20-plus teddy bears. Really. To house the collection, look at using the corners of the room, with neat corner shelving, or try wire garden baskets attached to the wall for a funky look that kids will love.

Extra: To clean plush toys, read the care label first. Some will only need dust removed, and this can be done with a vacuum (place old pantyhose over the brush attachment to make it easy). Some toys can be placed in the washing machine, but be sure to put in a ‘delicates’ bag or pillowcase first, wash in cold water, and dry thoroughly.

10. Plastic parade

Most small plastic toys are easily organised into groups of like nature and kept in small tubs. Lego has its own special qualities and can be dealt with in many different ways: a wall of drawers with different coloured and sized pieces sorted into each one; the iconic Lego head storage centre (for smaller collections only); a table with storage underneath; or craft storage systems repurposed. There are so many ideas limited only by the space in your spare room.

Extra: While some sites do suggest that Lego can be washed, in a delicates bag on the top rack of the dishwasher, Lego recommends that parts are washed by hand only, at a max of 40°C, using a mild detergent and rinsing with clear water afterwards. Air dry.

Leading by example

One last tip that you might be able to work in: lead by example.

I realise this can be challenging but if you’re cleaning out your wardrobe or sorting anything around the house, involve the kids in the process so they start to understand that being organised is something you need to do regularly.

It’s not challenging: keep, donate, recycle, rubbish (and the latter is a lot of it when we’re talking broken/spent/outdated and unusable, e.g. missing jigsaw pieces). Give them some small, achievable tasks to assist with and keep the time frame short with a reward at the end. Even making labels or stashing in containers are child-friendly tasks they can contribute and participate with.

This article was written by Allison Tait for Kidspot.com.au and has been adapted for Kidspot.co.nz

Which toys do you find the most difficult to store away? What are your best tps for keeping things tidy?

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Betty Crocker Baking Mixes

product trial4.72 out of 5 – Kidspot mums would purchase Betty Crocker Baking Mixes again and recommend them to their friends and family.

star rating 5

Baking with Betty Crocker is easy!

Create moments to remember with your little ones these school holidays. Betty Crocker makes baking fun for kids and easier than ever for you.

Baking helps kids develop their confidence, fundamental maths skills and it’s great bonding time. Best of all, Betty Crocker always delivers, meaning you have delicious treats for the whole family to enjoy when you’re done.

Betty’s Brownies and Slices are full of delicious chocolate. These mixes can be cooked to your preference – gooey and moist or slightly firmer. Either way, you’re sure to be winning.

If you feel like sharing love through baking, try Betty Crocker’s delicious Cake Mixes. From the classics like Vanilla Cake to superb Devil’s Food – there is a cake for everyone.

Frosting by Betty Crocker makes it easy to add a delicious finishing touch to your cake. Choose from chocolate, vanilla and other delicious frosting flavours. Spread with a knife or pipe into shapes for a smooth, creamy and tasty cake or cupcake topping. We also like using these between two cookies for an irresistible cookie sandwich!

Watch for reviews!

We have given 50 members the chance to trial and review Betty Crocker Baking products.

  • Each selected reviewer will receive: 1 x Betty Crocker Triple Chocolate Fudge Brownie Mix, 1 x Betty Crocker Devil’s Food Mix, and 1 x Betty Crocker Creamy Deluxe Milk Chocolate Frosting
  • If you have received product for review, please scroll to the bottom of the page and add your feedback as a comment.

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Bake it Better for Starship

New Zealanders are being asked to get behind our national children’s hospital by taking part in Bake It Better for Starship, a month of bake sales in July.

Caitlin McFadden will be baking her signature blueberry muffins to raise money for Starship, after hospital staff saved her baby sister Eloise’s life – not once, but three times.

Eloise was only three weeks old when she was rushed to Starship and her parents Nadia and Leith were told she had a complex heart condition. Eloise had her first open heart surgery at just eight weeks old, another at eight months, and her third when she was 18 months old. A bubbly, confident little girl, she has had extended stays at Starship, and has spent more than six months of her young life at the hospital.

Little Eloise calls on NZ to Bake It Better for Starship

Eloise and her seven-year-old sister Caitlin, a keen baker, are the ambassadors of Bake It Better for Starship. This heart-warming initiative is a way for the country to unite and help raise vital funds to provide world class healthcare while embracing the community spirit of bake sales – whether they bake or buy.

“There is as little as two degrees of separation from each of us and a child in need – from a family member, a neighbour, a colleague or a dear friend. When they are going through a tough time, we all want to help. Bake It Better for Starship is the perfect way for Kiwi families to help not just one child but every child needing specialist Starship treatment,” Aisha Daji Punga, Chief Executive, Starship Foundation, says.

“People can come together and help others in times of need. The funds will go towards providing the best possible care for patients, and critical areas including new equipment, training and research.”

Home away from home

Starship provides family-centred care to children and young people throughout New Zealand and the South Pacific, managing around 130,000 patient visits each year, including Eloise, who considers Starship a second home.

“We are proud to be involved and give back to Starship, they have done so much for us. Without the expert care we’ve received at Starship, Eloise would not be here,” Nadia says. “Starship is a home away from home, a place where she feels very comfortable. Despite having to spend so much time in hospital, Eloise has still been able to thrive.”

Caitlin has shared her favourite mini blueberry muffin recipe (below) one that she makes for her sister, parents and grandparents. She is excited to be part of what is anticipated to be New Zealand’s largest month-long bake sale.

How to get involved

Aisha hopes all New Zealanders will embrace their community spirit and get involved today: “At Starship – every hour of every day, extraordinary stories of bravery, courage, skill, kindness and compassion unfold. Every day someone needs Starship – and today Starship needs you, help us Bake it Better.”

You can get involved by baking sweet, savoury or healthy treats and selling them at your school, workplace, local club or community group. Every bit(e) counts.

Register now at bakeitbetterforstarship.org.nz and find out how to donate, get bake sale ideas, recipes and fundraising tools and tips.

For ideas, Kidspot Kitchen has an extensive range of recipes including tasty treats in our Cakes and Baking section.

Starship Foundation

Starship is New Zealand’s national children’s hospital, firmly focused on accelerating world class healthcare for all New Zealand children. There are nearly 135,000 patient visits to Starship Child Health each year including around 1000 outreach clinics where Starship clinicians offer specialist consultation and support all around the country. Starship has New Zealand’s only dedicated PICU and offers 14 complex medical specialist services treating children who come from around New Zealand when the care needed is only available at Starship.

How will you be taking part in Bake it Better for Starship?

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This article was written with information provided by Starship Foundation.

The Treasure Hunt That Rocks

Has your family discovered the painted rocks craze? People around the country and the world are painting, hiding and seeking out decorated rocks. It’s a cheap and easy activity for families, adds fun to a simple walk and has so many added benefits!

You can be a painter, a finder or both. Painted rocks are hidden outdoors – at playgrounds, in parks, on bushwalks, at the beach – pretty much anywhere (whilst avoiding private property and sacred places like cemeteries). The rocks are labelled to connect them back to a Facebook group where members can show off their finds. It’s a modern treasure hunt.

Getting started

For rock painters:

  • Use a rock that’s reasonably smooth and no bigger than a child’s hand.
  • Paint the rock with any decoration that you like – it could be a picture, pattern or message.
  • Label the rock on the back with your local Facebook group (if you don’t have one, start one up!)
  • Coat rocks in clear varnish (or use exterior paint) to protect the environment.
  • Hide the rock at a local park, playground, beach, etc.
  • Be careful not to disturb wildlife when hiding the rocks and don’t make them too tricky to find.
  • If you like, you can share with the Facebook group the area that you have hidden them (with or without clues!).

For rock hunters:

  • Check your local Facebook group for ideas on where to look for the rocks.
  • When you find a rock, take a photo and rehide it.
  • Post on the Facebook group so the painter can see that it has been found.
  • If you don’t find a rock, you will still have a great time exploring and enjoying the outdoors.

The benefits

Along with encouraging kids to explore the outdoors and learn more about their neighbourhood and surroundings, painting the rocks also encourages creativity and fine motor skills. The activity also builds a sense of community. Facebook groups have sprung up around the globe and some have thousands of members. Simply search Facebook for “[your area] Rocks” and you will find groups for locals.

Families are not the only ones getting involved. Community groups, school holiday programmes and businesses have also taken up the challenge.

Are you a member of a painted rock group? Are you a painter, hunter or both? Share your stories of your treasure hunts!

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her world julieWritten by Julie Scanlon

Julie is Editor for Kidspot NZ and our MVP. Her hobbies include laughing uncontrollably at her own jokes, annoying her family by asking questions about movie plots, and never taking anything too seriously. She speaks a little Spanish and a lot of Yorkshire. 

Favourite motto to live by: “It ain’t nothing but a thing”

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